Saturday, August 1, 2009

FML

Ah, yes, the knee saga continues.

So I went up to my boyfriend's house the day before yesterday to play house and keep the lonely kitteh company since my boyfriend's newlywed mom and step-dad were out of town still on their honeymoon. My knees were kind of being annoying when I was driving up there, but this subsided a little when I began to entertain said kitteh. We decided to walk to dinner, which really wasn't that far at all, and should've been no problem for me right? Well, in my mind it shouldn't have anyway.

When we got back, I was so exhausted. I took enough pain medicine to deal with it for the night, but that didn't quite help the next day. I worked the closing shift last night and was already in so much pain and exhausted before going. Standing around and walking briskly all night was not really helping.

When I got home, my mom had me use her TENS unit from when she had been electrocuted a few years back. I really didn't want to use it, half out of being stubborn and half because I was freaked out about it. It did help enough for me to sleep though, so I'm sure I'll continue to use it in the future.

The pain is terrible, but I think the mental anguish over the fact that I can't do certain things right now is worse. When I was diagnosed with JRA, the prognosis for most kids was that they would end up in a wheelchair by the time they were eight. The prospect of that happening at any stage in life is so frightening, but to know that I maybe could've/should've already been in one gives such a foreboding feeling. It's part of why I am stubborn and try to push myself to do as much as I possibly can, but I'm feeling like those days are quickly coming to an end. I need to figure out how to do something different, because during the school year, I can't sleep in until eleven out of exhaustion.

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