Thursday, October 14, 2010

Emotional side effects?

I had a pretty good day today. I finally woke up early enough to eat breakfast at home before heading off to school. I had a midterm that I think I did well on too. The odd part of my day comes later.

I get home and I'm checking out facebook on my iPod while putting away dishes. I come across a video about a sick little girl who has JRA. She's in a Remicade-induced remission, and says that if she stops taking her medicine the boo-boos will come back...

I broke down.

I couldn't stop crying and I can't figure out why. Was it because it felt amazing to finally have an affirmation of what being a sick child is like? Or was it related to not wanting to see other children in pain like that? Or even more than that, my own children?

Maybe it is for more selfish reasons. I've read a couple of things lately about life expectancy... Again. Why I keep on looking at these things, I have no clue. All I know is that being sick like this tends to affect how we live our lives - we can either embrace the time we have or begin to dwell on what we don't and the bad things to come. I try to be a part of the former group but that doesn't always work.

2 comments:

  1. I texted you about the guy I heard about who has cancer. He disregarded his doctor's instructions not to look up statistics online. I suspect it is natural to find that information, even if you are not necessarily seeking it out.

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  2. It's so true. All of that negative stuff comes up in research that I do, other blogs that I read, old news footage I happen to come across at work. Maybe it just pops out more because it's something that I slyly try to avoid.

    Mayhaps I just need to relax about it all. Then again, that's easier said than done.

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