Sunday, January 2, 2011

Mmm Sleep

Well, the new year is here... and so is more swelling.

I rang in the new year playing Red Dead Redemption in my boyfriend's apartment. On a side note, that game is really fun, but I find that - like the GTA games - it gets to a point where I can't really do big missions anymore. Oh well, the boyfriend isn't too bad at those. Yay teamwork!

We did a really fun thing this year in our new abode of Madison - the US Bank Eve celebration. It's more geared towards kids, but shoot for $5 a person why would an adult pass? Probably because of the lack of alcohol, haha. But it was great. The bank had places set up all over Madison that the one $5 wristband would get you into. We enjoyed some nice ice skating (complete with a nice skate sore for me), petting zoo animals, and a trolley ride through downtown guided by the first mayor! And all in glorious 40 degree weather. It only lasted two days, but I miss it so badly.

Yesterday, we went bowling too. The boyfriend is pretty good at that, but I somehow have the gift of spinning balls without really knowing how. Go figure. I had a margarita, so I'm blaming my low score on that :)

Off and on last night, I slept for about 11 hours or so, ending up sleeping at the boyfriend's an unplanned second night. I kind of feel bad about it, only because I know it is difficult to sleep with me haha. But more seriously, I'm starting to feel more fatigue from my RA and the meds I'm on too. And I'm starting to feel the toll it's taking on me. I just always worry that I'll be too busy dealing with my own physical pain to notice how things are affecting the people closest to me. I'm stuck with pain because of what I have, but the people I care about the most shouldn't have to suffer for that. And that's why I act like I'm always okay. But I'm starting to learn that even my super-ability to do that is starting to have limits.

Sometimes it's hard to tell when how I'm acting is normal or not too. More and more lately I kind of feel zombie-esque. It doesn't seem to matter how much sleep I get or what else I have going on either. It just always feels like I'm waiting on something that's not there. It would be nice to know what it is, and when I'm gonna get it. Seriously.

And I'm still swelling, so I think I might need to up my steroids. I might play around with it myself before my doctor's appointment at the end of the month and see what helps. I should've known that 5mg/day wasn't going to be enough without me being all placebo-effected. Bah.

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