Saturday, June 11, 2011

Bobdammmit

It's not like I'm not stranger to the pain my arthritis causes. I've dealt with it for almost 18 years now and I'd like to say that I think I handle it pretty well. But this change to affecting my hands more is still driving me absolutely bonkers. Like seriously, this is way too different body. I do so much more with my hands because I can't do as much with the rest of my body.

It's like all those little tiny spots in my hands, all those small intricate bones, are all swollen and painful. And it's like I don't know what to do at this point. Maybe when my insurance renews in August I can switch to a primary doctor away from the university itself so I can get some sort of pain medication. Until then I guess this is my life.

Blech.

And now I feel fat...well, ish.

I had to measure myself for some new work clothes we are getting and seeing the change in inches from high school to now is... well, disheartening. I know that weight is not the thing to be concerned with for me, as it fluctuates a lot because of swelling. But the inches are a different story. It's also much more telling of how the steroids have added weight. I'm well-proportioned so I don't really notice normally. And now I feel lame. And fat. And ready to kick up the cardio.

Well, cardio that doesn't include gripping anything that is.

No comments:

Post a Comment