Saturday, November 3, 2012

Day 3: How do you deal with relationships gone bad? #NHBPM

Today's prompt is to talk about something I don't know much about but that I would like to.

It's tough to think about because in reality when I want to know about something I have always been the kind of person to go right to the internet or a library and learn as much as I can. I guess you could say that it's the one downfall to how I've approached education - I learn enough to satisfy my curiosity on a subject and then I move on.

I guess the biggest thing would be how to deal with relationships gone bad. No, nothing is wrong between me and the fiance - I mean relationships in general. There are a number of people that I have a hard time dealing with because we disagree so much on certain subjects. Even when trying to avoid those subjects, there is still a lot of tension and hostility. It makes it even worse when someone assumes that the source of all my hostility stems from one specific event and not logic being applied to many situations.

I have always been the odd girl out, the kind-of loaner. In eighth grade, when I returned to school after having to be homeschooled a few weeks into first grade because of my Arthur, that was very apparent. I fell into a great group of kids and never had to worry about being a loaner again really. It was that way until college. Surprisingly when you move across the country and have no ties in the new place, you revert to old ways.

As someone who uses a fair amount of logic, it's easy to say that relationships are similar to a bank account and when someone takes way more than they give you should close the account. It's always so much easier in your head to think that than it is to apply that to people - especially if you're a person who was taught to speak up when something was wrong and to stand for what you believe in. If you're friend is racist, does laughing at his jokes or pretending to send a message that you're okay with that? If someone thinks everything you do is wrong and spending time with them turns into a Bible class or an attempt to change you, at what point do you void the relationship? If someone is constantly bailing out on you, do you still try to make plans?

I guess, long story short, I'd like to know more about how to make relationships work for me better and to try to limit the drama and stress that they seem to cause... maybe I could be sane then?

1 comment:

  1. I could go on for days on this subject, and I'm no expert, but your bank account theory is spot on. Having said that we must try to avoid the temptation to be "right" with those we want to keep in our account and forgive the trivial things that are annoyances rather than real problems. Find friends that make you laugh & share interests while understanding that we have to appreciate our differences. Give back to those that have supported you, because they're deserving of your love & attention. Being a loner is not a bad thing, but love yourself & know that having 1 good friend is better than 10 bad ones! Hope I've helped a little ;)

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