Sunday, April 5, 2015

Self-Care Sunday: dealing with the past

Real talk: you do seriously need to watch this. If you haven't yet:

Kimmy: I can't even do a dream date right!
Titus: Probably because you're bottling up the past. The past is not a root beer Kimmy Schmidt!
Today, we're going to talk about what to do for yourself when you're dealing with rough things from the past.


Do you feel like your should-be self is interfering with your right-now life? And who you want to be? Check out this piece. And if you feel like you were over some past things but recently discovered you weren't, please please please read this post from Blessing Manifesting. Spot on.

It's important in so many ways to both own and tell your story. Maybe you're on the path to finding out your story and learning why it's so important to share. Remember that there are always ways to get through the hard times.
Kimmy: Do you think going through something like that - a war or whatever - makes you a better person? Or, deep down, does it just make you bitter and angry?

Have you been abused by family or others too? There are lots of guides out there on how to heal, but I found this one helpful. One really tough part about all of this is figuring out that you contain worth and you matter. You're not just taking up space. People like me often find comfort in becoming a bit of a control freak. In reality, we need to let go and work on how to deal with less emotional pain. Sometimes that means working through the abuse. Sometimes that means ignoring it. For others, that means focusing on the good that's come out of the situation.

The important thing to remember is that standing up for yourself gives you the power in the relationship and negates much of the power they hold over you. Learn to say no and set up real and proper boundaries. It isn't easy and you will have set backs, but believing in yourself and your experiences will help get you to where you need to be.

If you're dealing with PTSD or other issues that cause flashbacks, learn about how and why they happen.


If you can't remove yourself from a situation by cutting contact like I did, try these steps when you're in a high pressure situation. It's easier said than done to keep your cool, but it can help to step back from the emotions of the situation.

Make sure that you address all the dimensions of self care that there are. Help the others around you by talking about empathy and asking for help when you need it. If you need it, check out resources on DBT and other ways to get through crisis moments. Processing traumatic events is really hard. Maybe practice some self care? If you're really stuck on that though, try helping someone else. It always makes me feel better.

It won't be easy but you can make it - because you're:



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