Thursday, March 16, 2017

Kirsten and the Quest for a Diagnosis


In one of my most recent posts, I brought up how I am fighting to get a diagnosis for what's going on with me.

I had a consult with neurology on March 10th. We agreed, because of my already illness-ridden body and familial history of neurological disorders, that we needed to run a battery of tests. On my way out of the appointment, I stopped and we ran a ton of blood tests.

As of today, they've all come back normal with no abnormalities.

It's relieving to know that I don't have some of the issues we've tested for - myasthenia gravis or protein in my blood or any of that... but it also really sucks. I wish that things were a little different. As of right now, the idea of Multiple Sclerosis and my great grandmother keeps sitting in the back of my mind.


Again, I know things have come a long way and I have doctors that don't and won't dismiss my symptoms as hysterics. I know that I have a support system that will allow me to fight my hardest, including awesome people in my life with MS.

My MRI on the 21st is coming closer and closer. 

I know it has the ability to show me what is going on - MS, Cancer, Chiari, etc. I've been focusing on the MS equation because of PTSD from watching Katie Mae deal with it, but also I think in part because I don't necessarily want to think of other options.

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I'm not letting myself feel my feelings as much as I should. If I do right now, frankly, the depression will get me. I'm in denial a bit but also simply can't allow myself to go there. If I do, I won't have the fight I need to get shit done.

It's not easy to get used to what's going on right now. 

Within three hours of waking up, my arms start to lose feeling. My legs are doing it now as well. Everything is still sensitive to a point but numb in a sedated, not pins and needles, way. My fingers, though - the fingertips - are the only things that seem to truly feel when this happens. Well, and just above my elbows on the back of my arms. My toes aside from the big ones are consistently non-feeling on each foot. 

Even my throat is getting in on this numbing action. I feel most of the time like I need to yawn or throw up.

When my neck isn't 'numb' it's hurting.

Nothing I seem to do makes things better or worse. The way I see it, I can either do things and get slightly worsened symptoms or not do anything and still deal with the same stuff.

In the meantime, I'll keep hoping this MRI holds the key to what's been going on.

If it doesn't, I know that I can keep working with this incredibly amazing neurologist to figure out what's going on.





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