I have been staring at this blank screen all day, unable to find the words to talk about this wonderful human being. There just aren’t enough words to talk about how amazing she was, how much she will be missed, and how much of a void is left for those who knew her. For those of you who didn’t get the chance to know her, I am sincerely sorry.
I first met Laura a few years ago, a bit into my blogging adventure. She was really the first girl with Still’s that I got to know outside my family, and definitely the first blogger. As I went through pains that I have never shared with anyone else, she comforted me – and it didn’t matter how badly she was doing either. She didn’t care about herself gaining attention – she cared about supporting her friends. Even as she was so ill after being released from the hospital Saturday, she was talking to me about my back spasms and how to help them not be so bad.
Even in her final tweets, while she was describing how much pain she was in, she never really complained. In all the time I’ve known her, she never was one to do that. Her fiance Matt told a mutual friend that she fought hard until the end. She always one to give it her all, such a wonderful fighter. I can’t even begin to imagine the hell that he is going through right now.
I was so looking forward to planning our weddings together and sharing sweet special moments like that with her. I feel so selfish for missing her, for crying over her all day today. I should be so happy for her and the fact that she’s no longer in pain. I just can’t feel happy for her knowing that she had so much more to do here, so much more life to live. She was only 30, but I feel that even if she had lived until she was 100 it wouldn’t have been long enough.
We have set up a memorial page for her with donations going to Arthritis Research UK, an organization she had recently starting doing a lot of work with. I’m waiting to hear back on an address to send cards for her family but in order to protect their privacy I will probably ask for them to all be sent to me and I can ship them across the pond. If you’re interested, please contact me.
This song always makes me cry, but it reminds me so much of Laura. She pushed me to be a better person, to take better care of myself, and to remember the toll that being sick takes on my fiance. I will miss her greatly.