Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough to be where you are? It’s something that I’ve struggled with a lot and it seems to be really common among abuse survivors AND chronically awesome peeps. Hooray for the double timing!
Anyhow, here are some ideas to help with that.
If that didn’t help, maybe you can embrace your different-ness like me!
Being different is beautiful. We know it because it’s a trait that we love to see in others. Maybe you love how Fit Aimee handles her illness issues or how funny Hurt Blogger is or how supportive Dawn is with #spooniechat. Each of them is someone you like because of the things that make them different than others.
Why are you treating yourself any differently?
One thing that can help is to date yourself. I mean, you don’t just marry someone without getting to know them, so why keep existing without knowing yourself?
My favorite date I’ve taken myself on was probably ghost hunting in San Francisco for a night while I was out there visiting Sammy. I needed to be there, but I also needed to do something for me too. The first date I took myself on, though, was to the movies. I hit the early morning showing of The Dark Knight Rises.
It felt funky to buy myself my own popcorn and sit alone in the theater… but I also was able to sit right up by the screen and ignore the very few other people around. After the movie I got a pedicure for the first time and loved it, even if it was awkward.
I try to do something every day for myself now because of how nice it felt to have that time. It might be going for a drive or indulging on food or buying ANOTHER new purse. It all depends on what it feels like I need at the time.
Some people think the idea of loving yourself is weird. I gotta tell you a story…
My social studies teacher in eighth grade really got me. He helped me to stop being so afraid of answering questions and being smart in front of others. He also was really supportive of me when I was having rough times. I told him at one point how annoyed I was that I wasn’t normal and he stopped me right there.
Normal, he said, was so boring. No one is normal because we’re all so different. Instead of trying to fit into this invisible mold, we should work on breaking it and being as weird as we can… because weird, it turns out, is the norm.
Kudos to you, Mr. Wayland, for planting that idea into my head.
Even though it’s painful or awkward sometimes, I’m embracing my weird. And I love it.
If I ever forget, I just remember my favorite place full of weird back in Oregon: