My Anti-bucket List

A lot of times we talk about our lives in things we want to do or wish to accomplish. Sometimes, I find it easier to think of the things I wish never to repeat or endure at all. Some of these are things very few of us have to worry about and others are silly, but they’re all a part of my list.

Talk to or see my mother or my other abusers again.
I don’t need that shit in my life, y’all.

Be in a plane crash.
My grandpa died in one with his Cessna. I just imagine it would be the scariest.
Shoot an animal.
Just nope.
Be responsible for the death of another, even indirectly.
I hate if I hurt a mosquito biting me to try to feed her babies. I hate when I run over a frog I couldn’t see. I don’t like to hurt anything because I value all lives, all souls.

Hurt or a
bandon those I love.
It’s a running thing in my Family of Origin. I aim not to do it.

Go to Burning Man.
There are way too many people there.

Run a marathon.
Do a cleanse.
Those things honestly are really bad for our bodies
Get back with an ex, even as friends.
I’ve dated some pretty awful people.

Give people too many chances to hurt me.
Been there, done that.
I will always fight for others while pointing out how race, poverty, ableism, patriarchal society, societal standards, etc, harm us all
Stop caring about my fellow patients, no matter their illness.
See above. It’s not fair for movements like #PatientsNotAddicts to keep demonizing our fellow patients.

Apologizing for being me.
I’m a rebel. It’s how I’m meant to be. In most aspects of my life, that tends to be a good thing. I refuse to hide it or cover it up just to help others feel more comfortable. Not everyone likes a rebel, especially one who tells it like it is. I’m not here for everyone to like me.
What are some of your anti-bucket list items?


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