Reflections on A Wild Year

The past few years have been wild for all of us. The end of 2020 was difficult, hard, and frustrating. Because of that – and being so ridiculously busy at the time – I didn’t do my usual end-of-year post. With so much having changed for me this year, I wanted to make sure to do one this year.

reflections on a wild year

 

 

Wrapping Up 2020

November saw Arthur turn 27. I honestly don’t know that I would’ve ever thought I’d reach this point. The fact that I have is a testament to better education around SJIA and, of course, biologics. It’s interesting, though, as I know there is a whole new generation of aging juvenile arthritis patients. I think we’re going to see a whole new era of figuring out exactly what these conditions – and their treatments – do long-term.

At some point, I started to stream games on Twitch. I haven’t in a bit, but if you enjoy watching games, come follow! I hope to get back to it soon.

In December 2020, I had my lowest sed rate ever. After five and a half years on Kineret, I’m still surprised at how effective it is. Obviously, other things I do in life impact that number, too. I know that a lot of my lifestyle impact was less stress than I’d had in a while. It’s weird to say that when, a year later, we’re still in a pandemic… but it’s true. I had finished up a number of projects, but that’s not the only reasons for less stress.

Last September, I met someone on Taimi, a dating app specifically for LGBTQ+ folks. They lived in Ohio and I was in Wisconsin, so neither of us expected too much. As someone who hasn’t been great at long-distance relationships, though, I learned that having both people dedicated makes a huge difference. A month later, we were planning a weekend away together. After working in public health starting in April, I took multiple days off at the beginning of December to go meet my soulmate in the woods. We hiked and explored the city they’ve lived in for years. When it came time to come home, I hated every second of the 9-hour drive back.

 

2021

Towards the beginning of 2021, my friend Iris Zink released a book called Sex-Interrupted: Igniting Intimacy While Living With Illness or Disability. I wrote some of the appendices around LGBTQ+ folks. While I’m obviously biased, I adore this book so much.

January saw the CDC interviewing me and my colleagues around the work we were doing around type 2 diabetes prevention. On top of that, I got to join an amazing psychology collaborative focused on trans folks. I also got to give perhaps the most fun presentation ever for a Planned Parenthood conference.

Neurodiversity and sex for muggles - Grayson tapping a wand near a cup of soda; he is wearing a white button up shirt with a ravenclaw tie

Yes, I took a moment in the beginning to tell everyone JKR can kiss my trans ass.

Unfortunately, my partner’s father passed away shortly thereafter. I was able to take some time off work and go be with and meet the family during that time. While it was less than ideal, their mom really liked me. So did both of her dogs and my partner’s dogs.

Grayson is surrounded by four dogs on a bed and his hand can be seen petting one; his partner sits in a chair at a desk

In March, I got to edit one of Governor Evers’ proclamations. They didn’t keep all of my edits. That said, I pushed back on unnecessarily gendered language. Then, in June, Evers issued an Executive Order to require gender-neutral language.

I went to visit my partner for their birthday. We went to the Cincinnati Zoo, which meant I got to finally meet Fiona!

Grayson and Fiona the Hippo looking at each other

I also got my first COVID-19 vaccine.

In April, SheVibe turned me into a sex ed superhero. Like, you can literally get trading cards of me and a ton of my friends. Monica Lewinsky said I was super smart on Twitter. Oh! And I got my second Pfizer shot.

My birthday was actually the nicest one I’ve ever had. A ton of my friends hopped on a video call, meaning I got to introduce them all to each other. Some of us played virtual games, too. It was amazing.

May brought the 7th anniversary of the last day that I talked with my mother. Cutting contact with her was the scariest thing I’ve ever done… but it was also the most rewarding.

Also, I got probably the best haircut.

Gray sticks his tongue out; he has a fade and a short haircut with a small Prince-like swoop on one side

June brought me an official ADHD diagnosis and access to medication. It’s made managing my ADHD so much better. Fun fact: ADHD often gets worse for folks going through menopause and through puberty. When someone is transitioning and taking testosterone, they go through both at the same time.

It was an interesting year before the meds, but it made for good times in presenting on disability in the workspace for Thomas Jefferson University.

Picture of Gray, McGravin, and Hank and Dean with the doggos looking mostly at the camera

I also got to go with my partner, their mom, and their aunt up to upstate New York. I met the extended family, hiked up a mountain, and even kayaked for the first time!

Grayson sitting in a two-person kayak on the shore

Over the spring and summer, I began to play Dungeons and Dragons with friends as a part of an initiative from the Global Healthy Living Foundation. The Dungeons and Diagnoses podcast was a ridiculous amount of fun.

Also, despite never being someone who drew a lot, D&D helped me get a lot better at that. I tried to draw every time we played. Here’s a non-D&D drawing I did that wasn’t horrible:

drawing of a red panda

Earlier in the year, my partner adopted a red panda for me at the Columbus Zoo. We’d gone to see the pandas back in January, too, so it was extra special.

I went hiking a bunch in Madison over the summer, catching cool photos like this one.

Lone monarch butterfly on some purple ish flowers

In July, I had masculinizing top surgery. It almost killed me. Still, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Part of me knew I’d be okay in the end, because the date I was offered was Laura’s birthday.

Recovery sucked but I won a contest and got some goodies from one of my favorite Star Trek peeps.

By the time August rolled around, I had all of my things packed and moved to Ohio.

Hank lifting his face in front of Grav with Dean's face visible in the background

Needless to say, Hank and Dean were both ecstatic.

By the time Halloween rolled around, we were moving into our own house. I cannot believe this is my bathroom:

A claw foot tub by windows with sheer white curtains

In November, I got my COVID booster shot. I wrote up what it’s been like to be on testosterone for the last 21 months.

I also left my job in public health. As much as I loved it, there was a lot of stress involved due to issues outside of my team. I needed something that would give me more joy, fewer frazzled days, and lead to a little more calm in my life.

I recently started with a company called Included Health, where I work as a Care Coordinator for other LGBTQ+ folks.

 

Things I Did Throughout The Year

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