Category: theme days

Self-Care Sunday: when being sick is actually great

Posted on by Grayson

I was really sick this last week. For the first time in a long time, that was the only thing bugging me!

Around the 5th, I started getting a cold… or so I thought. By that Saturday, I was feeling pretty rotten and had started coughing up some sputum along with wheezing. I did have one cough that made me take a step back and say “Hmm, last time I had that kind of cough was when I had bronchitis.”

Maybe should’ve listened to that little voice instead of shaking it off.

On Mondays I’m in my office alone, so I went even though I was feeling pretty rotten. I hacked away all day and tried to eat something spicy for lunch to see if I could drain all the congestion out. Later in the day I called my primary care doc to try to get an appointment, which they couldn’t do until Wednesday morning. The nurse was going to talk with the doc and call me back, but she had to settle for a message in our EMR system and the doc didn’t respond until after the nurse had left. Their concern was that my childhood asthma had popped back up… I have no doubt that my asthma is still around because I do have a terrible mucus problem, which can be a sign of asthma… and it’s actually kind of serious. Good thing I’m working with some docs on asthma training or I’d never have known!

Cue another frustration about growing up sans medical care and in a bad situation.

I get a call back from this nurse Tuesday morning who explains it’s likely that my cold has kicked up my asthma, but that I should head to urgent care to make sure it’s nothing more serious as they didn’t have any appointments available. After an hour of watching my new passion, Golden Girls, I donned my Batman underoos and headed over to urgent care.

I proceeded to wait for about an hour before getting an exam room, where I waited another 20-25 minutes. The doc took a listen to my chest and I was grateful for once that I was wheezing! He said that while there might be asthma at play, I definitely had bronchitis.

Cue the nebulizer!

I had to run around after I got out of UC to pick up my z-pack, coughing pills, and inhaler… and a few goodies since I wasn’t allowed to go to work until Thursday. I got home a little after 1:30, took some pills, and settled in for a self-snuggle.
Wednesday was a great self-care day. I allowed myself to do many things on this great list, from staying clear from my laptop to eliminating shoulds to enjoying guilty pleasures. It’d been forever since I rented something from Redbox, so I watched Big Hero 6 and Rosewater. Both were great movies, and now I really want Baymax.

I hate being what I call ‘normal people’ sick. Upper respiratory infections are even worse, because I can’t really play with my guinea pigs. They can die within 24 hours of getting one… which makes for one paranoid piggie momma.

Last night I finally got to play with them again. They were so excited!! I cleaned their cage while daddy piggie learned how hard it is to watch Gus. He has SO much energy.

It really took me being sidelined with bronchitis to get enough rest. It’s funny because I feel like I don’t do very much on a regular basis, but doing nothing helped show me that I was wrong.

I have a challenge for you!

Not everyone has to get scary sick to experience this type of rest. As a part of your self-care, I want you to pick a day where you can easily do very little. Keep track of all the things that you feel like you should be doing, but keep your to-do list very small. Only do small things you can easily accomplish or are that restful. Partake in hobbies you don’t have time for on a normal basis. Take a nap. Watch a trashy show or kids movies. Enjoy your favorite foods. Set aside a day to practice self-care and self-love – and let me know how you feel at the end of it. It’ll be hard, but I believe in you!

 

Therapeutic Thursdays: Setting boundaries

Posted on by Grayson

A couple of days ago, I mentioned that one of the things I want to work on in therapy is creating boundaries. Some of those are just boundaries for my own protection or energy issues. Some are to prevent oversharing, something that happened a lot in my life growing up. Some are there for other reasons. My next therapy appointment is next week, but, in the meantime, I thought that I would get started looking at some ways to create better boundaries.

To start looking at forming boundaries in relationships, you have to really know yourself and what you want out of life – and then how relationships you have will fit into that. It requires that you be really in tune with your body, mind, and emotions. I still have some groundwork to get to that point, but I’m much farther than I was last year at this time.

Of course, one of the benefits of this is that you should be noticing who drains you and in what capacity. From there, you have to decide how much interaction you want with these people and what the consequences of what’s going on will be. You also have to stick to your guns. I’ve already kind of hit that area in my life which is very nice. There is so much less drama in my life now that I’ve kind of removed those people from it.

You have to figure out what limits you’ll have on your positive relationships as well. You have to allow yourself to experience your emotions because keeping in touch with those is how your relationships are going to flourish. You have to focus on self-care and acknowledge what makes you uncomfortable and discuss it.

Probably the hardest part for me will be being more direct about what I want or need and being assertive if that doesn’t happen. I hate to feel like I’m inconveniencing someone or interrupting their daily life.

Obviously, the key to all of this will be to start small and go slowly.

I talked a few days ago about how I was working on being a better friend, on being there and more available. That’s definitely a part of all this, as is really connecting with my sister in a more sisterly way instead of a motherly way. It’s been really nice to talk with her more in a supportive and loving role, being silly with each other. We definitely haven’t gotten to do that enough.

Another big step with this will be to define and really start to establish more of the relationship with my dad and his family. Similarly to what I’ve been doing with my sister and my friends, we’re going to look at setting up regular calls or Skype dates (thanks Katy for the awesome idea!!). I also want to look at the next times we can visit with each other in the upcoming year. At the very least, maybe we can play Cards Against Humanity online. They’re amazing at that game!

This alone is going to take a lot of work. I’m anxious about how things will go to start off. I obviously don’t want anything to get too weird or awkward for anyone, but I need my family too. I do have to say how awesome my step-mom is. She has been so helpful with me processing my own emotions, with understanding where others are coming from, and with validating my frustrations with things. They didn’t need to be validated, but it’s a whole different ballgame when they are.

I’m excited to get started working on this. I think it’ll really make a difference with my anxiety issues and with my self-esteem. I’m also ready to just finish processing these emotions and memories because it holds me back a little bit. It’ll help lower the triggers I deal with and help me to be more okay with just existing and not necessarily changing the world. I love the work I do for advocacy, but sometimes it gets overwhelming and I need to be more okay with taking breaks.

Bring on St. Patrick’s Day!

Meditation Mondays: Benefits & Getting Started

Posted on by Grayson

I’ve talked a bit on and off since I began writing several years ago about how meditation has helped me in my life. One of the biggest benefits I’ve received is better pain management. Is the pain still there? Definitely, but I find I can be more in tune with my body and acknowledge the discomfort instead of just feeling the pain.

I’m not the only one who has received these or other benefits.

One of the things I’ve noticed is how much easier it is for me to handle stress. Meditation has also allowed me to process some of my more difficult thoughts.

There is a misconception out there that you have to be a Buddhist to meditate. This is so wrong! While Buddhism created what we refer to today as meditation, most religions and philosophies around the world utilize some form of meditation. Buddhism is much more of a philosophy than always being a religion. It is compatible with so many belief systems. One of the coolest professors I had in college practices Zen Buddhism along with her Catholicism and has even written a book about the subject. I highly suggest you check it out!

Meditation is hard when you first start out. Our minds are so busy and it can be hard to silence all the little thoughts and ideas that pop up. It takes a while to get where you can acknowledge those thoughts and let them pass. Even then, there are still times where it can be hard to deal with those thoughts. A session of meditation is never perfect, but neither are we.

The easiest way to deal with the thought issue is actually also the easiest way to get started meditating – using guided meditation.

Guided meditation is exactly what it sounds like – someone talks you through what you should be focusing on. Not every session has a real focus though – sometimes it’s just to go through how your day was and check in with your emotions.

Two great sources for guided meditations are Blessing Manifesting and Buddhify.

Blessing Manifesting is a great website. I’ve talked about it before. Dominee is a great person who encourages everyone to develop self-love/self-care techniques. She provides ways to do that as well as a safe space to talk spirituality or anything else you’d like. I found her website shortly before Christmas and I really enjoy the things she puts out there.

I’ve also talked about Buddhify before. It’s a great guided meditation app you can get for your iPhone or Android device. They have short meditations to ones last half an hour on a ton of different subjects from pain and illness to sleep to dealing with difficult emotions. Several other spoonies have now started using this app and love it just as much as I do. You can meditate using just a timer as well once you feel comfortable with guided meditation and want to move on to solo.

I certainly encourage you to check out these or other resources for guided meditation. It honestly is the easiest way to start. There are plenty of tips and tricks out there to help you get started all over the internet.

Life with chronic illness can suck big time. We spend so much time wrapped up in our bodies, often ignoring what our mind is dealing with. There is also so much ableism out there, both external and internalized, that we begin to feel like we’re not worth the time or effort to care for. This spills over into our relationships with friends, intimacy with our partners, and our perception of how much we can achieve. That feeling of worthlessness can turn into a vicious cycle and run our lives.

I think there is a way we can use our illnesses to get more in touch with ourselves, mind, body, and soul. For some, diving into volunteer work helps. For others, being physically active does the trick. For me right now, meditation is where it’s at. I invite you to try it and see if it would be a good fit in your life.

Upcoming Changes!

Posted on by Grayson

I’m working on some changes over the next coming weeks here on this page.

An update to the page itself may be due.

Adding more resources as I come across them in my day job will be good, especially as we work to research and develop a transition program from pediatric to adult care for our clinics.

I’ll be introducing some themed days so I get back to writing more. A part of that is that, yes I’m ill, but that’s not all of me. Surprisingly there is life outside of talking to doctors (though I do work with them…), etc. One of the things I want to focus on is me as a whole person and I’d like to share that with you. Does that mean I’ll write every week on these topics? Probably not. But I will try.

  • Munchie Mondays – food, fun recipes, or new allergy-friendly finds.
  • Therapeutic Thursdays – talk about what I’m working on in therapy, coping, etc.
  • Self-care Sundays – everything self-care and self-love from how to deal with tough people to things I find comforting.
  • Wacky Wednesday/Weekends – we’ll see what happens, but I want to post things that will make you laugh!
I thought of this idea last night about 15 minutes before falling asleep and I haven’t worked everything out quite yet. We’ll see how things fall out. Posts about the giant pile of books I have to finish reading, life updates, etc, would be in addition to these posts (I think?). There’s definitely the idea of doing alternating weeks – one week Monday may be on munchies and the next it might be on meditation.
Over the weekend, I’ll be able to work on things a little more and we’ll see where it takes us.
For now, enjoy this fun article about Alan Alda doing improv with docs!
Oh, and did you see RA was on Dr. Phil yesterday?

(side note: I do not enjoy the Phil-ster, but this was actually a good bit)