dear arthur

Arthur, the boyfriend nobody wants

I have a habit of calling my disease “Arthur” and though I’m not sure how exactly it started, I know I’m not alone. Several of us use the same term to describe our life partner, the ever-asshole-ish RAD/AA.

Here are some of the least favorite things about Arthur:

  • He’s not sexy
  • Always sleeps in late
  • Doesn’t listen
  • He’s needy
  • Ruins the best times
  • Doesn’t let you have any fun
  • He feeds you fat food
  • He always wants to cause a scene
  • Plays with your emotions
  • Controlling
  • Hates your other boyfriend
  • Is way too attached to that couch
  • Always looking for ways to get you into bed
Feel free to share your least favorite things about your boyfriend, Arthur!

Some of us even feel so strongly about our painful lover that we can’t even put it into words. I will say this though, if he existed, I would have gunned him down mafia-style YEARS ago.

Essentially, living with autoimmune arthritis is like starring in your own Lifetime special. Your abusive boyfriend won’t let you do anything without hurting you, and you’re trying to slowly kill him with a medical cocktail you’re putting in all the food – poisoning yourself while you’re at it. If you’re lucky, you’ll have built up an immunity to things like iocane powder… and if you’re not so lucky, the poison will get you too.
I know one thing though – this girl is ready to beat the crap out of Arthur. Who’s with me?

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