theme days, therapeutic thursdays

Fear of success

I’ve never watched Breaking Bad, but this quote hit home

In the last few weeks, I’ve done incredible things that I couldn’t see myself doing a few short years ago. A lot of them are things that I wanted deep down but couldn’t imagine myself doing… and yet, here I am.

I did have a lot of issues that I had to work on to get here. Timing wasn’t great for working on those things earlier in my life. My depression sucked the life out of me.

I can list a million and one excuses or explanations, but I think a large part of things was a fear of success.

I think that I’ve wanted to play with the big kids but didn’t think I was old enough if that’s a good example.

I’ve been working on self love and care and all that good stuff for a while now. I think that it has helped me to see myself as worthy of love, attention, and being a bigger player in things than I’ve been before. It’s also helped me start school again (though having a million deadlines within the first three days has murdered my sleep).

It’s also helped that I’ve been hand picked to do some things and work on some projects – and go to MedX in a few weeks. I’m excited, but nervous for sure. I’m not entirely sure that I’m prepared for the experience or the aftermath. This new blog on sex and such on CreakyJoints has taken off already and I’ve got some other exciting things coming out soon.

I finally feel like I’m ready. I have no more excuses and I’m not afraid.

Speaking of fear (haha) I hope that you’ll join me on my MedX journey Sept 24-27! I’ll be live tweeting the whole time so hit me up @kirstie_schultz, catch the live streams at the Medicine X website, and join in the conversations using the tag #MedX.

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