Have you ever met someone who completely changes your life in the best ways? Who shows you that you can be yourself and change the world for the better, even if you’re not always offered a seat at the table?
Casey Quinlan was that person for me. We met on social media and had followed each other for a while. It wasn’t until the ePharma 2016 summit in NYC that we got to meet in person. While she was speaking, a pharma person at my table was grateful she was wrapping up because “she’s scary.” She was challenging the status quo.
I dm’d Casey about this, and she immediately came over to the table and flipped this guy the bird behind his back while dancing and sticking out her tongue. It was the most amazing thing to see.
I worried for years about challenging the status quo. In spaces I’d done that before, I was kicked out or not invited back. Casey showed me that it didn’t matter if I was invited back. I had to speak truth to power whenever possible.
Casey and I stayed in touch, chatting regularly. The next time we got to hang out, it was in DC. She took me to her favorite place, the Old Ebbitt Grill. I don’t even remember what kind of cocktail she recommended that I get, but it was good. For the better part of the day between Ebbitt and the hotel bar, we talked about our lives, changing healthcare, and the lack of support for trans folks.
In the years between NYC and DC, I’d come out as trans and begun the process of transitioning. I’d lost several friends, some due to their full on transphobia and others who refused to see they were causing harm. Casey was the one person who I knew worked on getting it right and helping others do so.
She knew it was important to highlight inequity. On her podcast, she did this regularly, whether that involved speaking truth into the void or inviting folks on to talk about everything that was happening in the world.
I didn’t grow up with a supportive family. I haven’t talked to my mother in almost a decade and never truly felt at home there anyway. But, I did feel at home wherever Casey went.
Back on the 10th, my partner and I drove out to visit Casey in hospice. The two of them hadn’t met and, while hospice wasn’t the best meeting place, they got along well. I told Casey what she meant to me, who she was for me. I will never forget how she turned that around to remind me that I helped her and others, too.
Ever the snarky human, she told me that she loved me to death as we squeezed each other’s hands and I kissed her forehead.
I hate that you’ve gone where I cannot follow, my friend. But I know that you’ll make sure that place gets its shit together before those of us following in your footsteps to change the world get there.
I love you to death, Mighty Casey.
