I miss you much lovely.
For those of you who don’t know – in December of 2012, I lost one of my dearest friends to Still’s. We’ve both been sick since childhood and she was running out of medication options when an infection wasn’t treated correctly for her suppressed immune system and it turned into sepsis… which was also treated incorrectly. This event across the Atlantic uprooted my entire life, not only from losing one of my biggest sources of love and support but from being forced to face my own mortality. She did so much to help me grow, in life and in death, and I miss her every single day.
Today is her birthday, fitting for July being juvenile arthritis awareness month. Sadly she is not the only person that I’ve known who has passed away from this disease, and many others I know of were children.
Sometimes you meet someone who completely changes your life for the better. Laura was that kind of person.
Laura Jayne, I freaking miss you. I can’t thank you enough for everything that you have done for me. You still push me to keep fighting, to keep working on being a better person and a better activist. The passion you’ve given me has led to me starting to kind of be a big deal in the arthritis and chronic illness communities, but it’s also reminded me to live with a zest for life and take chances. You’ve given me friendships in the wake of your death that will last forever. You’ve also given me a reason to eat a ton of cupcakes this week – and to bake the most adorable cupcakes I’ve ever made.
You taught me the beginnings of self-care when I didn’t feel worthy of it. You were my mentor, my first sick friend with Still’s. I still remember the first time you responded to me on twitter and I lost it because you were such a big deal for me. I miss our fun conversations during odd times because of the time differences between England and here – and our painsomnia. I miss talking wedding things… and the thought of having been involved in each other’s weddings. I miss your silly sayings, sharing resources, and the intimate conversations that you can only have with someone who is practically your twin.
I know that you’re still here for me. I know that you’re still around, and that at least makes it easier. I also know you popped in for my bachelorette party, my wedding AND me honeymoon, you sneaky goose. Every time I see a butterfly, I know it’s you… mostly because you’re pretty obvious about it by landing on me or sitting by me for a long while.
Happy 33rd babe.