Appetite

So yesterday, I had an ensure for breakfast… a handful of chips for lunch… some popcorn at the movies… and an ensure at like eleven. I’m just not hungry for some reason. Obviously, it bothers me that I’m not eating. I usually do alright with trying to make myself eat a little bit. Right now though, I think this appetite thing is the worst it’s been in a long long time.

UGH.

Fatigue

Lately, especially in the last week or so, I have begun to deal with more and more fatigue as a result of my arthritis. It’s gotten to the point where I am nearly passing out from exhaustion, only to sleep for 2-4 hours at a time (well, at least today… then again, I was up most of the night). I’ve been reading up on fatigue in the past few hours and found out some interesting things.

People on vegan diets fare better than those who take in dairy and meats. Prince Fielder may not be the only reason I’m seriously considering going vegetarian.
My emotional distress is probably making my fatigue worse. That’s probably a no-brainer to someone not wearing my shoes, but it didn’t really occur to me. (By the way, I am starting a new job next week that will be a lot better physically and emotionally for my arthritis, so that’s awesometastic)
And I’m glad that I’m not on huge painkillers for yet another reason.

Resting

It feels overrated, but is a huge necessity for me right now.

I am so scared right now. I’m not sure if my emotional state is pushing the physical problems to be worse, or vice versa.
My left knee is the biggest problem lately. As a child, it’s the one that I tripped and got rocks stuck in and the one that I flipped a cart full of stuff onto. It tends to be terribly hard to walk with one knee freaking out and the other definitely threatening to follow suit, if it isn’t already doing so.
I get paid on Saturday. With the money that doesn’t go to bills or savings (or gas – jeez), I want to try and take some more herbal supplements like dandelion, garlic, and ginger to help with the pain and inflammation instead of trying to depend so very much on pain killers like Advil and the like. Of course, getting some insurance and actually getting on some JRA treatments couldn’t hurt either.

How Do I Loathe Thee? Let Me Count The Ways…

Alright, so a lot of people say that they get their best ideas on the toilet right? You can consider me one of them right now. For people who maybe don’t quite understand how Still’s Disease/JRA affects the ‘everyday’ stuff that I do, I thought maybe I’d just list the things that are harder to do when the arthritis is acting up (like it’s been lately).

One of the reasons I got this idea on the toilet is because most toilets are fairly short. The way that knees have to bend in order to use short toilets makes me want to scream. Sitting down is terrible, but getting back up is the worst.
I live in a house with a washer and dryer in the basement and my room on the second level. To make it up and down the stairs, I have to hold the handrail and have my other hand on the wall for most of the way down. The impact of going down the stairs on not only the knees but also the ankles makes me want to just sleep downstairs in the recliner like I’ve done a lot lately.
Just walking hurts. As of late, I can walk fine if I don’t have to pick up my feet. I shuffle along a lot when I am wearing normal shoes, but it’s usually better for my knees and ankles if I wear high heels or some other form of elevated shoe. I’m sure it doesn’t help that I have no arches in my feet to help absorb some of the impact from walking.
I’ve already talked about how arthritis can affect my internal organs and loves to frequent my stomach. Eating is a day-to-day thing with me, whether that’s the result of arthritis (like it normally is) or still a semi-eating disorder problem. Since it also affects my other organs, however, they have to work extra hard to get their jobs done. My liver, for example, would be absolutely at a loss if I went out and drank a ton. Yes, there are actually medical reasons why I do not drink so much.
Lifting things can definitely be tough. Earlier this year, in one of my first posts, I talked about my pitcher’s shoulder problem. When my right shoulder goes haywire, I can usually pitch to a wall or another person and loosen up that joint enough to only be sore from the movements.
Sleeping is usually either extremely difficult or way too easy for me. I’m either in enough pain that I can’t sleep for hours on end (take last night for example, when I didn’t end up sleeping until about three in the morning) or I’m so exhausted from doing normal day-to-day things that I pass out. If I sleep in the wrong position or on my wrist, that can be a bother for days and weeks. I’ve had to wrap my wrist and elbow every day for two weeks in some cases before I really get any relief.
My arthritis usually seems to get worse right about my menstrual cycle. So along with the PMS and mood swings, I get amped up doses of pain. This isn’t always the case, but it definitely is something I’ve had to become used to. Another thing – and I won’t go into too much detail on this one – that gets more difficult is being intimate. Different movements and different positions can really end up taking more of a toll on my body than I let on.
Like I said in my last post though, the mental anguish over not being able to do things like go to the bathroom without pain (is that too much to ask?) is terrible. I think the biggest fear that I have in life is that I will end up in a wheelchair, unable to finish my schooling, and unable to do things for myself. If the pain from arthritis doesn’t keep me up at that, that will.
That’s a pretty good starter list for right now. As I go through more pain, you’ll definitely hear about it.

FML

Ah, yes, the knee saga continues.

So I went up to my boyfriend’s house the day before yesterday to play house and keep the lonely kitteh company since my boyfriend’s newlywed mom and step-dad were out of town still on their honeymoon. My knees were kind of being annoying when I was driving up there, but this subsided a little when I began to entertain said kitteh. We decided to walk to dinner, which really wasn’t that far at all, and should’ve been no problem for me, right? Well, in my mind it shouldn’t have anyway.
When we got back, I was so exhausted. I took enough pain medicine to deal with it for the night, but that didn’t quite help the next day. I worked the closing shift last night and was already in so much pain and exhausted before going. Standing around and walking briskly all night was not really helping.
When I got home, my mom had me use her TENS unit from when she had been electrocuted a few years back. I really didn’t want to use it, half out of being stubborn and half because I was freaked out about it. It did help enough for me to sleep though, so I’m sure I’ll continue to use it in the future.
The pain is terrible, but I think the mental anguish over the fact that I can’t do certain things right now is worse. When I was diagnosed with JRA, the prognosis for most kids was that they would end up in a wheelchair by the time they were eight. The prospect of that happening at any stage in life is so frightening, but to know that I maybe could’ve/should’ve already been in one gives such a foreboding feeling. It’s part of why I am stubborn and try to push myself to do as much as I possibly can, but I’m feeling like those days are quickly coming to an end. I need to figure out how to do something different, because during the school year, I can’t sleep in until eleven out of exhaustion.

So…Tired…

I’ve been working without a day off for a while here now. It’s not terrible, but I’m definitely getting pretty tired of it. I had a cramp yesterday in the back on my right leg that didn’t go away until after work today. On top of that, it’s time to get certified with the cleanliness of our store, so I’ve been in contact with a lot of chemicals today that, with my allergies and asthma, I probably should not be. Needless to say, I’m still a little light-headed. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

I’m beginning to think that my leg cramping is a result of not having arches. It always seems to happen in my right leg, starting with my right heel. It should be interesting to see exactly what’s going on there eventually.
Well, I’m pretty beat. I get to wake up early-ish and work just a few hours tomorrow, but I’m sure it’ll be full of busy things to do and more physical pain. Oh joy.

The Hunger

My appetite, she has returned. It is a miracle!

Or it could be that the last thing I had to eat was a cinnamon roll and coffee at ten thirty or so last night.
In either case, it’s nice to be hungry again. My knees are a little tired from running around a lot yesterday in Appleton with my friend Kyle and all the working I’ve been doing lately, but I’m definitely having fun. Next weekend, we have Kelsey’s MRI and EEG appointment. I also have two concerts to go to and we move to the house up the hill from us. So busy! I’m sure that I will be hurtin pretty good after all is said and done.

Cramps

No, not the girly kind. Bear with me while I explain some background junk before getting to the cramps.

It’s important to note the kinds of physical problems that accompany autoimmune diseases like Still’s Disease. In allergies, the body tries to fight against what it deems to be a threat. However, this threat is the host’s body itself. In autoimmune diseases, the body tries to overreact to each finger pop or leg bump to the coffee table. Not surprisingly, many people with Still’s have allergies, asthma, or any other immune system issues.
In most people with Rheumatoid Arthritis, there is an antibody which is directed at the body itself which causes the biggest problem. Rheumatoid Factor (RF) does not exclusively mean Rheumatoid Arthritis, but with the right symptoms it can. Other diseases with high RFs are hepatitis, leukemia, mono, lupus, and Sjogren’s syndrome.
After that medical lesson, let’s shift our attention back to the title.
In addition to my Still’s Disease, I have:

And some pretty interesting abdominal issues as well, but that’s a part of the JRA itself.

The amount of proteins and vitamins that my body doesn’t hold on to correctly cause a lot of problems. My fingernails and toenails suck, which isn’t that big of a deal unless you like to be barefoot like my hippie self does. I also get these terrible cramps, generally when I’m working, that extend from my lower back down to my calves. Sometimes these cramps get so painful that I can’t move my leg, which is not all that conducive to retail life.
I’m thinking it might be time to start taking the multivitamins that I bought forever ago.

But I’m Not Hungry!

My sister has not had another seizure. She has an appointment to do an MRI and an EEG on June 11th at Children’s Hospital. Hopefully, if there’s anything wrong to find, those in-depth tests pick it up. She’s been sleeping a lot lately, which she is worried about, but I am convinced it’s a good thing. My finger is no longer as numb as it was… or I’m getting used to this strange feeling. The infection seems to be gone, or mostly so, and I’m hopeful that I’ll be fine.

My left shoulder is feeling a little screwed up at the moment because I fell asleep in a chair this morning for a nice little cat nap (forget the fact that I had a nightmare). My knees have been doing a lot better lately, which is both nice and odd.
The biggest problem that I am having right now is the loss of appetite. When I was about seven, I began to throw away a lot of my food. I just simply wasn’t hungry. My mom maintains that she is to blame, because she had apparently said something about me being chubby, but I have no recollection of that comment at all. I just remember not being hungry. I lost a lot of weight and got down to under 50 pounds. Occasionally, I will experience this same problem. I know that I have to make myself eat at least three times a day, but there are days where it just isn’t high on my priority list. Usually, this only lasts for a few days, but it has been known to go on for weeks on occasion as well.
This past weekend, my boyfriend and I went up to Appleton for the D-3 World Series in College Baseball. I didn’t eat a lot, not because I didn’t want my boyfriend to spend a lot of money (which is also true), but because I simply wasn’t hungry. On Sunday, I ate almost a whole Subway sammich and a cookie. This started for me on Thursday night and I have yet to really come out of it. At least there are enough delicious foods in the fridge to hopefully keep me eating three times a day.

Pitcher’s Shoulder

Every so often, I get what I like to call pitcher’s shoulder. Basically, it feels as though my shoulder is detaching from torso. This feeling generally starts in the lower neck – sometimes as a crick, other times on it’s own – and moves down to the top of my shoulder. This movement also causes the top of my arm to ache terribly and can make it near impossible to move, let alone do anything else. Occasionally the pain will move down my arm until it hits my fingers.

When I was younger and didn’t so much understand my body, I used to try and stretch out my shoulder to the point that I would pull muscles in my arm. Needless to say, I’ve grown smarter since then and have since stopped using that method.
It is hard, though, to know how to take care of this kind of injury. There is a reason, though, why I like to call it pitcher’s shoulder (apparently I’m not alone in this). The only real thing that helps my shoulder is to play catch. Unfortunately, I don’t always have the ability to play catch, so here are some alternatives that may help you out if you also experience pitcher’s shoulder:
  • Icy Hot products
  • Heat therapy patches
  • Pro-Ice wrap (expensive!)
  • Rest (apparently that’s supposed to help, but never does for me)
  • Working out. If you strengthen the muscles in your shoulder, it shouldn’t happen as often. This is a nice concept in theory, but not entirely accurate for those of us with Still’s.

Since I can’t go play catch by myself at the moment, I’m using the Wal-Greens brand of hot patches. It’s not helping a ton, but it feels a little nicer at least. Pitching really is the best way to work out this pain.

Edit: If you’re coming across this sometime after 2019, I have hypermobility and the pain I’ve described here is from a subluxation or dislocation.