Category: lower body

Wait, what?

Posted on by Grayson

I’m having odd muscle issues. It’s happened a few times before, but always in my sleep so I didn’t really think anything more of it than an odd muscle cramp or migrating charlie horse. But apparently, when I actually got to look at it, I realized how fucking creepy it was.

Sorry, there’s not another way to put it.

So Christmas, right? I worked a lot. I woke up and my right leg was super tense. My right heel hurt like a bitch – it hurt to walk, hurt to put pressure on, but I fought through it.

Later in the evening, the leg muscle tension has moved into my right foot. We are watching X-Files and waiting on nummy pizza when all of the sudden, the three middle toes on my right foot froze. Maybe even my pink too but it’s so small I wasn’t really paying attention to it.

They didn’t just freeze like in place either. They fucking curled down towards my foot. It was like all the muscles in my whole leg down into my toes froze up. It was like that for, oh, a minute at the absolute most but probably 30-45 seconds realistically.

It was the scariest fucking thing I’ve seen in a while.

The muscles are tense today, but not as bad. I don’t know how or why this happened. I googled it, obviously, to find that it could be lack of potassium, magnesium, from my RA, or from Parkinson’s or MS.

My great grandma essentially died from complications caused by her MS. I watched her, as a very tiny girl, lose her mobility. I have very few memories of her before her Amigo go-cart. Things just got worse and worse for her. She eventually had a stroke, and ended up in a nursing home with a broken voice box because of the dip shit doctors.

And I have always been afraid that is going to happen to me too.

Yay for borrowing trouble and googling stupid shit my body does.

PS if you’ve had this, want to share what’s up? Please?

My aching feet!

Posted on by Grayson

I have worked the last four days in a row (including today, so by 3pm anyway). Normally, that wouldn’t be an issue, but I haven’t really worked a schedule like this since I started my mtx. And boy, am I tired.

My feet are killing me – probably because I haven’t really had an opportunity to sit down at work the last couple of busy days, while I’m training someone new too.

We’re a little under-staffed at work, so I’ve been doing more to help out. And I’ve even been proactive and offered to take over social media for the hotel. So that’s kind of fun. But I’ve run out of energy. It’s a good thing I have tomorrow off (but I have to write a paper! bah!).

I’m looking forward to being able to get a little more rest once we get back up and fully running, but who knows when that will be for sure right now.

All I know is I’m ready to be done with work for a few days.

Ode to my left knee

Posted on by Grayson

Dear left knee,

I know that I was really stupid when I was younger. Climbing on shopping carts without enough weight to balance my body and getting a cart flipped on you was probably pretty crazy of me. It hurt pretty hardcore, but hey we got a free bag of ice out of it.

We’ve been through a lot together – sleepless nights, painful hikes, experiments with ace wraps and the like. We’ve also been experiencing this new medication together. I know you don’t get to see/deal with how sick it can make me – when I’m not eating as much as I should or decide to contort like a normal person.

So far though, this medicine is being a good experience I think. You aren’t hurting as often. When you do hurt, it’s less than it usually has been. I’m hoping it stays that way, because I cannot handle another weekend like I had a few weeks ago.

So, left knee, keep up the good work!

Ode to My Right Big Toe

Posted on by Grayson

Dear right big toe,

I’ve enjoyed your company for the past 22 years. I know we’ve had our ups and downs – me trying to stuff you into cute shoes, despite your stubbornness to disagree, running you into anything and everything in the house… Now that you have been numb for a week, I miss how things used to be. Now when I run into things, I just feel a tingly scratch.

I can feel pressure, and I can feel whether the things I touch are soft, pokey, hard, etc… But I cannot truly feel texture.

Why are you numb? This bump on your lowest knuckle? This RA nodule, it is separating me from you, isn’t it?

I hope this nodule goes away. I can’t stand the thought of this tingly feeling lasting for the rest of my klutzy life.

Happy Fourth!

Posted on by Grayson

Having seen the effects that fighting in the military and American exceptionalism have had on soldiers and the nation as a whole, I think it’s kind of overrated, but whatevs.

So I’ve been looking for an apartment for a while here. The other day I went to see one that I did not know was wheelchair accessible… Or, if I did, I forgot/didn’t understand exactly what that meant. It scared me to see everything down low – not because I have anything against people in wheelchairs, obviously. But that’s always been one of my biggest fears. And I was confronted with it, without warning.

Hello panic attack!

The lady emailed me to see if I was still interested. I’m still unsure of how to respond. I think I would be way too uncomfortable to live there.

I’m sure that the situation with my knees is not helping at all. They seem to be getting worse and worse, despite anything I’m doing. Maybe I need more ice? More heat? More movement? More rest? Who the hell knows. At this point, I’d probably settle for a sucker punch to the knee caps.

The boyfriend moved into his new apartment this weekend. I’m actually surprised at how not tired I am physically. Sure, I might be sleepy, but I also had to get up at 5am, so there’s that. My knees aren’t really hurting any extra today than they have been. He’s really good at handling the arthritis, especially since reading about the Spoon Theory. Friday, he decided that he should buy me extra spoons. So sweet.

FML

Posted on by Grayson

Sunday, I had a pretty swollen ankle – to the point that I actually broke out the ACE bandage/wrap thing. Monday, the pain had traveled into my knee and was pretty bad. Today, though, I almost couldn’t take a shower because I couldn’t lift my knee high enough to clear the tub. Unfortunately, my ankle is hurting now too. There’s just no good way to deal with this. I’ve taken two Aleve and two ibuprofen and been using my Liquid Freeze.

I need better painkillers or possibly a new left leg… though I’m sure the latter would require the former.
Also, I’m pretty exhausted/tired.
Blech.

Update

Posted on by Grayson

We’re down to the final two big-name celebrities (that I can find) with RA. Look for those sometime soon.

Unfortunately, I’m super exhausted and it’s only Monday night (Tuesday morning?). My right shoulder started aching like crazy Friday night and it’s been pretty difficult to keep the pain under control – something made worse my pain in my knees and ankles. I’ll be honest, I’m trying to not take medicine as often because I know I’m taking more than the recommended dosage. I also know that I’ve built up a tolerance and have to take more in order to get the desired effect.
One of the most useful tools in my pain-fighting arsenal is a minty roll-on liquid. I have no clue where or when my mom found this wonderful thing, but it has definitely saved my sanity on more than one occasion. There is a spray and a roll-on. I only have experience with the latter. I have only ever had two problems with it – reaching the right spots on certain joints (i.e., my shoulder) and a minimal amount of spillage. That said, the product is a wonderful thing to keep with you just in case you have a flare-up that doesn’t seem to respond as well to medicine… or if, like me, you have a somewhat unhealthy relationship with your OTC pills.

Physical Activity

Posted on by Grayson

I am really frustrated with my body right now.

I haven’t really done a lot physically since I came down with bronchitis right before Christmas. I’m really at the tail end of it right now, so it’s more like I just have a cold. The last big physical thing I did was go to the mall a few weeks ago.
Yesterday, while showering, I totally nicked the back of my left ankle in a couple of spots. It bled for a while and didn’t seem to want to stop. I had to tape some gauze on the back of my heel to stop the bleeding after a good ten minutes of applying pressure.
Last night I went to a basketball game with the boyfriend and his dad at my university. It was pretty cool. My school won and all in all it was a pretty great game. We got to sit court-side, which was pretty awesome. The seats weren’t the most comfortable, which was not a big deal. I was pretty worried about how close we were because I didn’t want to get in the players’ way, so I kind of twisted and bent my ankles to keep them off the court. Apparently, that was a really stupid idea.
The boyfriend and I went to Discovery World today, which was pretty awesome. If you haven’t gone, it’s definitely a fun thing to eat up a couple hours of your day. It does involve a fair amount of walking though… which shouldn’t have been a problem right?
Apparently, I’m wrong about that. I am super wiped out physically right now. We were only in DW for not even three hours and I was wearing sneakers. I started feeling the urge to limp pretty quickly, unfortunately, but I wasn’t going to let it stop me from enjoying my time.
I feel fatigued, sick to my stomach, and I definitely have rash all over my face. My eyes have also been redder, which worries me since I have had a history of arthritis interacting with my eyes. It always bothers me when I feel like I can’t do normal people things without feeling completely and utterly wiped out.
It’s not just how I feel physically though. How do I go about turning down something fun because of how I think I might feel? I’m one of those people who likes to try new things all the time and go out and be active. Unfortunately, it seems as though my body doesn’t quite share my enthusiasm.
Since I fell down the stairs right before Christmas, my arthritis has gotten worse. I guess that, in the past, I haven’t really had to put very many limits on my physical activity. Unfortunately, until (or, the worse option – unless) the disease begins to be more dormant again, it seems like I’m going to have to learn to listen to my body’s warning signs just a little better. For now, I have an ankle to ice and keep up.

Knee

Posted on by Grayson
So I was talking about the pimply nodules that can appear on the knee in a recent post, and it just so happens that I have one right now on my left knee.
It might look like just a pimple, but it is not. It is one of the most painful things about Still’s Disease. You want to pop it, because anytime anything touches it, it feels like a knife into your kneecap. This also makes you want to just stay away from it. Unfortunately, these can last for quite a while. While you probably shouldn’t pop it, it is best to do so after icing the nodule and using a sterilized needle in addition to your classic pimple-picking skills.
It has snowed all day today here in Southeastern Wisconsin. With all that moisture, one would probably expect to experience a lot of pain. I am achy all over, but that could because of the bronchitis stuff that I am just starting to shake.
Also, if you’re looking for a good indicator of the relationship between weather and arthritis in your town, check out Accuweather‘s arthritis index.

Reliance on Pain Meds

Posted on by Grayson

So in my last post I talked about how nice it was that my new job was so much better on my joints. I didn’t take any medicine before working last night and won’t be making that mistake again anytime soon. When I got home, not only did my knees and ankles ache, but my shins did too. It got to the point where I was trying to get comfortable in my dad’s recliner and crying alone in the family room. I did go ahead and take medicine but had to bombard my legs with pillows I stole from the family room just to get to sleep.

Could someone please tell my body to calm down?
I think the most frustrating thing about the pain is I wasn’t standing a lot. I wasn’t doing very much more than any other normal person does every day. And yet, last night, I wanted to take a chainsaw to my legs because I was already in that amount of pain. Stupid arthritis.