Category: health adventure

Blech

Posted on by Grayson

So now I’m feeling a little bit better, but still iffy.

The boyfriend let me nap at his place before heading home yesterday, which really helped. I slept for about an hour after almost getting into an accident because I was so dizzy. We went to the store and he bought me some ginger root pills, which are not only supposed to help with motion sickness but with arthritis too. It seems to be helping, so I’m excited about that.

I also decided to start taking my vitamins again. Hopefully, I’ll stick to it this time.

I don’t normally like to talk about this, but in the past I’ve had problems with what I’m sure is anorexia. I used to run a lot (10-20 miles a day), eating nothing but some crackers with peanut butter. My latest dizzy spell business, I feel, only helps to highlight that I still struggle with that today.

I will admit, I have not been eating a lot. It just took me three hours to eat a 5-inch sub sammich. I’m at work, so that is part of it, but I’m also just not hungry. The arthritis really does a number on my digestive system, and often things are swollen to a point that I just am not hungry.

I will also admit that, subconsciously, I’ve been fine with going hungry because I am losing weight… even though I tell others to refrain from that same practice because of how dangerous and ineffective it is. I’m happy with things in my life, but I’m not as able to exercise as others because of the RA too.

Stupid RA.

Running Grateful

Posted on by Grayson
I used to run a lot for exercise in high school. It’s one of the things that I love to do and, unfortunately, I’ve done it enough that my knees are probably my worst joints. This morning I woke up and it was so nice outside. I putzed around on the computer for a while before deciding that I was going for a run today. Because I haven’t run in forever, I had to charge my mp3 player and update the songs on there.
Since I haven’t run in a while, I alternated between running and brisk walking, to give myself a bit of a rest from time to time. I was probably out for about thirty minutes altogether, jogging around the block. Eventually, I want to work up to running up the huge hill down the street, but I know that will take time.
Being able to do any physical activity to the point of sweating felt so good. By the time I was done, I had finished a whole liter of water and was dripping sweat. It was the best I’ve felt in a while.

I think that every person is running, metaphorically speaking. We’re all headed towards a specific goal (the hill down the street, that master’s degree, etc) or, at the very least, away from something (pain, depression, personal issues). We often get so busy running our marathons of lives that we don’t stop and think about the things that we have that we should be grateful for.

I’m grateful that I got to run today. What are you grateful for?

UGH

Posted on by Grayson

I am so frustrated with so many things right now that I really feel like ranting to someone, and no one willing to listen is around right now, so you get stuck with it.

My family is pretty dysfunctional and it’s really difficult to live with them, especially after basically living on my own for the last two years. I’m not going to really go into it, but it’s hard to co-exist with people who either think you’re the coolest thing ever, or hate you (for whatever reason). I can’t seem to say anything right to anyone, so I just keep my mouth shut. What’s the point, right?
It’s hard getting up so early in the morning to work. I work 7-3 tomorrow in Madison, which means I have to leave my house by 6am at the latest… Making it so I have to wake up by like 5am. It’s a job where I’m doing stuff that I really enjoy, and once I’m done with training I’ll have downtime for homework. But it also requires that I’m on my feet eight hours a day with really no breaks. I’m so exhausted right now. I was thinking about working a second job, but with how early I may have to get up and how late I may have to stay – and already having problems with the one job and being on my feet – I really don’t think it’s a good idea now. Not like it would’ve been that much money anyways – 10-15 hours a week at $8 an hour. I’ll have a second job in the fall on-campus anyhow.
I still don’t know whether or not I’m getting the fellowship I applied for in FEBRUARY because the department is waiting on verification from the US Department of Education before they’re letting us know whether or not we’re getting money. This is something that I really need. I really don’t want to use pure loans for my master’s. It’s so much money, and I’m going to have to pay all that back, along with undergraduate loans… Maybe school was a bad idea… though it does delay my undergrad loans.
I’m apartment hunting for the fall (August really) and not finding the right place. I’ve never lived in a real apartment before, so looking at all this stuff is making my head spin. I have to save up for the security deposit, rent, utilities (depending)… and on top of that, books and such for the fall. I’ll have a roommate, so that will be good, but she’s out of town right now… So that doesn’t help much.
And, on top of everything else, I feel so sick to my stomach. It’s like there’s nothing I can do to get any relief. I feel so hungry, but it’s not hunger. My arthritis, Arthur, is a bastard, plain and simple. I’m not getting as many zaps throughout my body, and my shoulders aren’t as bad as they were about a month ago, but my knees, hips, and feet hurt so bad. It’s so difficult to not let my pain influence how I treat, interact, and reach out to people. The only person that I seem to not usually have that problem with is my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. Maybe it’s because of the way that he acts and how he handles both me and the arthritis. Maybe it’s just because I’m a silly girl. Who knows.
All I know is that this feels like it could be my theme song right now (again). Everything will work out though, right? Maybe?

Maybe a New Format?

Posted on by Grayson


As I’m able to begin posting a little more, I think I may try to do a physical update sometime during the day – if/where rash is present, any noticeable and painful inflammation, etc. So let’s start now!
Rash: right hand between lowest knuckles of the index and middle finger (as seen above); pretty much my whole left arm, from the shoulder down; both cheeks, spreading into the neck region.
Pain: left ankle and knee, but much less noticeable than yesterday; left ear is having pressure problems; right hip; rash stinging pretty bad (esp left arm), except on face – there it’s bringing along a feeling of fever (as usual); left hand – stinging, tingling sensations yesterday after leaving DR’s (no logical reason for it) occasionally hurting again.
Inflammation: left ankle swollen, also less noticeable then yesterday; presume that pressure problems in left ear are related to swelling; slight swelling in lymph nodes on right side of neck – not visible but sensed by touch.
Meds: I have not taken any medication today.
Stress level: don’t even ask, haha.
Other notes: Did not sleep well last night – paper and presentation due this morning. Bound to be similar situation all weekend. Feeling extra nauseous today – prob related to stress, lack of sleep, anxiety.
Things to make you/me smile:
  • It’s baseball season 🙂
  • Almost done with capstone…
  • I graduate in a month
  • Things might get a little worse, but they’re always bound to get better

Adaptation

Posted on by Grayson

In recent posts, I’ve talked about how difficult it is to remember a time before RA. As a four-year-old, I was super active. I loved to run around and dance. I was certain that I would grow up and be a dancer and/or actress. A few months later, I would get sick. I’d spend hours scratching rashes, leaving my skin raw. I’d even sleep for more than 24 hours a few times. Worst of all – my energy level declined and I was constantly fatigued.

For a while, I didn’t really have any fight in me. I just didn’t have the energy. I slept a lot, stayed inside, and became an expert at Yoshi’s World.
When I was in-between my freshman and sophomore years of high school, I started running a lot and ended up with an eating disorder. I’m still coping with it. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between that and the lack of appetite that comes with RA. Running also, unfortunately, screwed up my knees even more.
It’s hard to adapt to RA. Just when I think I’m doing better, it flares up again. The disease keeps me on my toes. Sometimes it is hard to even get in the shower, let alone walk to class or do yoga. You never really know when the disease is going to get worse.
I try to not limit myself because of my RA. I am not my RA and I won’t let it control what I do. I can’t do anything to control the effects, but if I can do something, I’m not going to pass on it because I might end up maybe getting hurt. As a side effect, there are times when I don’t listen to my body. I push through the pain, which usually makes things worse. Still, I’d rather live and be in pain than stay in bed all day.

Not Necessarily Still’s Related

Posted on by Grayson

People who have compromised immune systems tend to have more than one auto-immune disorder. Allergies are usually a big part of the situation too. This makes sense when you examine what an allergy is.

If you’re allergic to something, your body tries to fight it off. A ‘normal’ person might not have this same reaction to, say, coconuts. So someone with an allergy would then try to avoid coconuts right? Well, what happens if you’re allergic to cold medicine? I tried not to take any cold medicine, except that I was getting progressively sicker. Finally, I gave in and started taking some Tussin. Unfortunately, the allergic reaction that my body is having seems to be making me sicker than I was in the first place.
For the record, this sucks. I have been sick since December 16th-ish. Thought I was getting better until I left the apartment and came to work today. I’ve been debating off and on trying to go to the doctor. I think maybe this next week will finally be the deciding factor on that.

Chronic Pain and You

Posted on by Grayson

So, I’m finally free from the hardcore arthritis pain that I was experiencing. After my last post, I ended up getting a hugely swollen upper lip while my boyfriend and I were shopping in Madison. Talk about a mood killer.
Sorry about the crappy quality. Taking pictures in a Red Robin with the camera phone is a little awkward.
Speaking of boyfriends… Could your chronic pain condition be affecting your relationships? That is, of course, a trick question. The majority of people do have a problem, at least from time to time, feeling supported or knowing how to handle pain together. Sara Nash, of The Single Gal’s Guide to Rheumatoid Arthritis, discusses the dangers of dating with RA.
There is also the question of the role of diet in chronic pain conditions. Want to know more? Just click here. I can tell you though that the only rule I follow is the one on aspartame, but that could just be because I’m allergic to it. I do try to stay away from a lot of additives and, when it’s plausible, I do try to eat more organic foods.