Category: meditation

Why I’m Leaving Pillpack

Posted on by Grayson
About this time last year, I was ecstatic about sharing information regarding PillPack.
PillPack basically takes your medications and puts them in timed packets you can just rip off a roll and take with you easily. I was excited about this while traveling so that I didn’t have to take up a carry-on with my pill bottles.
At first, they were great with getting things set up. I enjoyed the freedom of being able to just rip a packet and go in order to travel more easily, etc.
Everything was going alright – until I needed to get a refill.
It took two weeks for them to get on top of the situation and, in the meantime, I was not updated on what was going on. I tried to send my specialist’s information several times, sometimes as a photo simply because I have mobility/typing issues at times. Five different people emailed me over five days. They had the nerve to think the photo version of my specialist’s information was a prescription and told me they could not accept it.
I groaned on social media and someone fixed it. I was cautious, but kept using them.
Then, recently, the situation happened again.
This time, only one person emailed me but I never heard back from them. It’s been like 2-3 weeks and I’ve now not received my allergy medication in the last shipment I got. It may not matter to them, but I’m choking on mucous over here.
Nope.
I just transferred my scripts to a local pharmacy and will be picking them up this week and abandoning PillPack. The irony was, during the transfer process, it only took an hour to get a reply from the same person verifying the transfer and canceling my account… when it took FIVE DAYS to get a reply from someone about one of my medications.
The biggest issue seems to be the utilization of a generic hello@pillpack.com email address for EVERYONE. This, combined with no singular person handling someone’s scripts, leads to mass confusion and disorganization.
They may be great for people who don’t have multiple chronic illnesses and need scripts on time, but for those of us in that category? Stay away.
Since I’m at Target all the time anyway, I’ll be utilizing the new CVS at the Target by our apartment. One of the things I’m already liking is that their app allows me to request refills, shows me which medications are currently filled for pick-up, and even allows me to control T’s scripts (note to self: have T sign up for a CVS account).
Hasta la pasta for now, PillPack. I hope that, one day, you can get the customer service issue pulled together for your clients. Personally, I don’t know that I’ll feel comfortable trying your services ever again.

 

Meditation Monday: How to Get Started

Posted on by Grayson
Last Monday, we talked about some of the benefits of meditation for chronic pain. Today, let’s take a look at ways to start a meditation practice.
First off, let’s talk about what meditation doesn’t have to involve:
  • Sitting on a pillow on the floor
  • Crossing your legs
  • Being 110% silent
  • Staying still
  • Closing your eyes
  • Certain hand movements
What does meditation involve?
  • Being mindful
  • Allowing thoughts to arise
  • Being non-judgmental to yourself
  • Rest and relaxation
  • Personal insight
  • Compassion
The most important thing in meditation is to have compassion for yourself. It can bring feelings and thoughts up that we don’t often experience – or, rather, let ourselves experience. In meditations that ask us to focus on the breath, for example, it can be easy to think about how we aren’t doing well if our attention drifts elsewhere.
Self-compassion is at the heart of meditation.
Getting comfortable is probably the second-most-important key to meditation. If you’re uncomfortable positionally, it’s difficult to focus. That said, meditation with chronic pain is totally a go, though it can be a little difficult with higher pain levels.

 

There is no right way to meditate, from using guided meditations like those on apps to sending compassion to others to focusing on rough events and more. Some things can help, though, like aiming for meditating at the same time each day. Meditation before sleep can be quite helpful, provided you choose a meditation that doesn’t wake you up too much. Some people feel like mantras or chants help, but these are also not required for meditation.
You do want to try to aim for a quiet place free of most distractions. You also want to make sure you’re not too full because you might fall asleep – though, that’s totally cool, too. Conversely, meditation when you’re hungry isn’t a great idea for focus, either.
When you’re first starting meditation, using apps can be incredibly helpful. I’ve talked a lot about much I enjoy Buddhify because of how helpful their guided meditations are so helpful. They are one of the best apps out there. Other apps include Headspace, Calm, and Stop, Breathe & Think. These are all available for Android and Apple products, which is awesome!
If apps aren’t your thing, get in a comfy, quiet place. If you want to achieve anything – specifically, to think of anything in particular – think of this just before meditating. For this first time, since it may be difficult, it’s helpful to set a timer. Just make sure it’s not a super alarming noise. Choosing a screamo song as the alarm to come out of meditation may ruin the mood.
Take some deep breaths and focus on those breaths. Count them in a way that’s comfortable for you – out loud or in your head. You can count the ins and outs or just the full cycle of breathing as one.
You will naturally think of things during this time. Don’t fret! Simply recognize your thought and let it pass, then begin to count your breath again. Feel free to move as your body requires. As we talked about last week, walking meditation is also super common.
When your timer goes off, address it. It is helpful if you use a timer on your phone that you can easily silence without moving too much.
Focus on your breath again and slowly come back to the world. If you are sitting or in bed, make sure that you get up slowly. Like a visit to a masseuse or a physical therapist, this time can be rejuvenating so take it slow.
It can be helpful to keep a journal or diary about your meditation. Think about how you felt this time went. Would you do something different? How are you feeling now? Did it help you to feel rejuvenated? Did it help with your pain?
Again, I definitely suggest Buddhify. They have a great section on pain and illness that help us to deal with the stories that we create about our pain, our self-esteem issues related to pain, and similar issues. It has completely helped me to change how I address and see my pain.
Did you try meditation as a result of this post? How did it go?

 

Meditation Monday: Meditation Can Help Chronic Pain

Posted on by Grayson
I talk an awful lot about the benefits of meditation for my chronic pain. I thought it was about time to talk a little more about the science behind why I feel that way – aside from meditation being pretty badass.
First, we need some definitions…
  • Chronic pain: any pain lasting for more than twelve weeks
  • Meditation: a variety of mindfulness, personal focus, and introspection techniques
    • It’s important to note that, since there is such a variety in meditation as a whole, that one definition really doesn’t encapsulate much BUT some types of meditation involve:
      • Deep breathing
      • Guided imagery
      • Walking
      • Yoga
      • Vocalizations or chanting
      • Scanning the body
What can meditation do?

Lower sensitivity to pain? What?

“Meditation teaches patients how to react to the pain,” Zeiden said. “People are less inclined to have the ‘Ouch’ reaction, then they are able to control the emotional reaction to pain.” He explained that the meditator learns while sitting on the cushion that pain is fleeting and doesn’t deserve such a strong emotional reaction. (source)

This all has been shown to be especially true in chronic back pain.
I’ve been meditating on and off since I was about twelve. There was a Cosmo article I read about how yoga and meditation were good for our minds and bodies, so I got into it. There was even a point where I could do headstands up against the wall.
If only selfies had been a thing at the time…
I definitely fell off the wagon of meditation several times. Back in 2012, when Laura passed away, I got back on the wagon for a while… until I didn’t. Towards the beginning of 2015, though, I found the Buddhify app and fell back into the wagon hard – so much so that the creator of Buddhify, Rohan Gunatillake, interviewed me for his book, This Is Happening:

Mindfulness also shows me that even the hardest pain of the most difficult emotion is just a temporary thing. Noticing that change has made a massive difference. The pain is still there but now I can even be grateful for it. I now have the self-awareness to notice any discomfort and itching before it becomes full-blown pain. That’s quite a change from when all I could do was be angry and resentful.

Mindfulness has really helped improve my relationships which previous had been quite difficult. I guess that working on being compassionate to myself means that I’m able to be more compassionate to others. That’s also how I see all the blogging I do. Sharing my own story and struggles with others through blogging and other social media is an expression of my compassion. It’s part of my practice. (122)

One of the things I love from this chapter – and, indeed, every interaction I have with Rohan – is how very appreciative and caring he was about some of my thoughts:

I’ve met a lot of mindfulness experts in my time. But as she is someone who has lived with pain for the majority of her life, I’ve never heard as clear or as real an articulation of how mindfulness helps us transform our experience of the difficult as the one Kirsten shared with me. (122)

/SWOON/
One of my favorite things about meditation is just how restful and rejuvenated I feel when I take part in it. While it can be difficult at times, Buddhify really helps me to dive in even with difficult emotions.
I really enjoy meditations that allow me to remove the narrative about my pain. One of the Buddhify tracks does this, requiring us to focus on the actual pain instead of the tangents our minds can often create – thinking about what the pain is (size, sensation, location) versus the panic it brings (I can’t go to work tomorrow if I still hurt like this, etc).
Don’t already have a meditation practice in place? Good news – meditation has been shown to help even beginners, so get cracking!
Next week, we’ll look at ways to get started on meditation.

 

Compassion Meditation

Posted on by Grayson

Devote five to twenty minutes to a simple compassion meditation. Start by visualizing someone toward whom you easily feel compassion, and silently repeat the words May you be happy and free from pain and suffering. Now visualize yourself and mentally repeat the same thing. Next, visualize someone toward whom you have neutral feelings while repeating the same well wishes. After that, visualize someone for whom you have trouble feeling compassion, to help extend the goodwill you’ve fostered toward them. End the meditation by extending your well wishes to everyone on the planet, with these words: May all living beings be happy and free from suffering.

I love compassion meditation. Quite honestly, it’s the one meditation I tend to practice the most.
The only hard time I have is picturing those I don’t get along well with.
I go for big fish instead of the guppies that are easier to catch.
Have you done this type of meditation before?

 

Plaquenil

Posted on by Grayson

I had asked about it a few months ago after a visit with my rheumy. In the interim, I’ve found out that my great uncle’s oldest daughter (first cousin once removed?) was diagnosed with RA not too long ago. I also found out that she’s on Plaquenil and so sick from it that the aggressive arthritis might be better… Not very good for a stay-at-home mom of four.

Needless to say, I probably won’t be taking Plaquenil. It also has sulfides in it, which no one in m family tends to handle very well… especially my mom. And lucky for me, I’ve got most of her allergies.
At this point though, I’m already sick to my stomach non-stop, so what’s the harm, right? The thing is, if I feel like laying around and not doing anything now, what’s going to happen if I take that?
I have like zero energy right now. I’ve had this terrible pain in both of my arms, all the way up through my neck and even sometimes into my head. Over the past couple of days, I’ve also had problems with my chest hurting… and zapping pains… and no appetite.
Awesome.