Gettin’ Jiggy With it

Posted on by Grayson

Warning: This post is about sex. Well, sex and intimacy and RA and love. But mostly sex. That being said, links will most likely include at least text about sex, if not pictures or (gasp!) naked people. But no naked me. Sorry you guys. Read on at your own risk!

Not many people are willing to talk about sex with a chronic illness. It already feels like we are sharing so much of ourselves, allowing people to look in on our pain. I can imagine that others felt like I did until recently – that sex is an intimate thing not to be shared with the outside world. While I tend to agree still, I think that someone has got to start talking about sex and RA. People need to understand just how much this disease can take away from us. It’s not just about dignity or being able to go to the store or the bathroom alone – it’s about a disease affecting everything you do and trying to steal your intimacy and who you are.

I’m not going to let it.

Yes, I ran this post by my boyfriend. He doesn’t agree with the flattering bits, but oh well 🙂

I won’t put anything too personal about him up. I don’t need all y’all trying to steal him from me!

I dated throughout high school and college. I had one or two semi-serious relationships that ended, coincidentally, when my disease was flaring up. It wasn’t until I met my current boyfriend, though, that I really had intimacy in a relationship.

Unfortunately, not too terribly long after we met, my RA began to get worse. Over the past four years, I have gone from (relatively now!) little pain to so, so much pain I can’t get out of bed hardly on more days than before. And I often need help with things – whether I ask for it is another story. It’s done a number on my self-esteem and my confidence. I get worried about how other people see me, sometimes to the point of obsession. I change outfits at least twice when I’m trying to get ready to go anywhere, unless it’s a quick run to the grocery store. I get worried about my weight, my rash, my psoriasis, and joint swelling. I don’t want others to see, because then they stare all the way through the store.

All of this naturally should mean that I have less sex, that I want to be touched less, and that I hate my body for the things it does to me.

But I don’t. If anything, I want to be touched more.

Why? There are a few reasons.

Sex is an amazing pain reliever.

No, seriously. Google it.

When you orgasm, your body releases endorphins (also happens during exercise, eating chocolate, and laughing!). These lovely little polypeptides have a similar chemical makeup to morphine. Once released, they make their way up to the brain, where they bond to neuro-receptors, give pleasure, and relieve pain. During sex, your body’s production of endorphins can increase up to 200%. That’s a lot of steamy sexy morphine.

And if you’re in love – real love, not puppy love – the feeling is that much more amazing and intense.

So next time someone gives a headache excuse, tell them they’re full of it 😉

One of the tough things about having an autoimmune disease is that there are often other conditions that go along with it. One that specifically loves to ruin sex lives is Sjogren’s Syndrome. This fun little condition dries out your body – your eyes, your mouth, your skin and, yes, lady bits too. Unfortunately, there aren’t a ton of options on how to deal with the latter, other than extended foreplay and lubricants.

It can get really frustrating to deal with. Nothing can ruin the mood more than trying and trying and your body just isn’t cooperating. That can make both of you feel like you’re inadequate.

But you’re not. Your body is just stupid sometimes. If you have RA, this is something you (probably) already know. Your partner needs to know that it’s not because you don’t find them attractive or that you don’t want to be with them. This is where a wonderful amount of communication makes life tons easier.

Also, a really good vibrator helps.

(If you’re dealing with Sjogren’s, check out the SS Foundation website for tips on how to deal with dryness)

Speaking of vibrators…

Some of the people I know dealing with chronic illnesses don’t have a significant other, for one reason or another. Some feel like they are not ‘good enough’ to be with another person because of their illness, and some are just in-between mates. But there’s nothing saying that you cannot enjoy sexy times alone.

Masturbation has a wide array of health benefits for both men and women, from preventing infections to lowering chances for type 2 diabetes to improving prostate and immune health to reducing stress and even more.

With all these health benefits, why aren’t we pleasing ourselves more often? Or, at least, why don’t we talk about it?

Okay, so as someone who has been recently dealing with hand pain, I can sympathize with the fact that this seems like a difficult task. But there are plenty of ways to get busy without putting as much stress on your hands.

Vibrators are often said as being a girl’s best friend.

Oh, those are diamonds? Oops.

Anyways, this can be still be true with RA, if you find the right type for you. If you’re hands are bad, you might want to consider a vibrator like the butterfly, that straps around your legs. Some of them even have detachable controls to share with others! But they’re also expensive. Lame.

Just whatever you do, make sure you have a designated battery changer. There’s nothing worse than wanting to get busy and not being able to unscrew your vibrator alone, or feeling like you need to get the grippy from the kitchen to have an orgasm.

And then realizing you need to clean the grippy more.

I also know people who have a collection of vibrators and toys, some that are easier to use on bad days, and some that are so good you won’t care how you feel.

On a slightly less mechanical note, there are worse ways to warm up stiff hands than to play around with yourself or with another.

And that can be a fun way to start some foreplay action.

Speaking of foreplay, I hate my body…? Okay, bad segue. And also, not true.

I may not be happy with my body. It might hate me, but I don’t hate it. I just don’t really approve of the things it does to me. Since going on prednisone 10/2010, I have gained a whopping 40 pounds total.

Yeah. I’m pissed. I feel like a beached whale.

At first I worked out and tried to keep it off, but then I started hurting too much and got lazy. I’m tired of the poofy face, of having a muffin top, and of not wanting to wear my bikini… which, by the way, I rock normally at around 200 pounds because I usually don’t care what other people think of me, when they’re not around anyway. Well that, and a lot of that weight is in the right places. Yay curves.

I might hate that my body fights me every step I take, literally. My knees, left more than right, make me remember the running I did in high school to lose weight and every bump, bruise, and fall they’ve endured. My shoulders hurt so bad sometimes, I can’t work because I push buttons on a computer screen for eight hours a day. And I’m not even going to get started on my ankles or my hands. Frozen digits don’t make for fun talk.

But I also know that I am beautiful and I’m sexy, in spite of – or even because – my disease. I am a fighter. I work hard to be active-ish, and I play equally as hard. My boyfriend does his best to remind me of that when I forget it.

Yep, he’s is pretty amazing.

If you follow me, you know that the past few months have been pretty difficult for me. I made the decision to change jobs and stop going to school because of how bad my disease has been getting. And all with basically ibuprofen as a pain medication.

No, it doesn’t work.

Recently, my arms have begun to experience more pain and stiffness. I try to wear clothes that are easy to take off but sometimes you don’t know when that’s going to hit. In the past two weeks, I’ve had to ask for a little help taking off my clothes. I’m sure he totally doesn’t mind helping 🙂 But seriously, I’ve never gotten a scoff, an eye roll, or the like.

It gets better.

More than a handful of times now, I have been in bed crying and trying to invite Chewbacca to come rip my arms or legs out of their sockets (apparently the force is not strong with me). These are not moments that I’m happy to share. No one should feel like that, and I HATE being so vulnerable. Then I think about that, and that gets me going.

But then imagine someone climbing into bed with you, holding you, and telling you that everything will be alright. And when you feel like nothing in the world is going your way and that you’d rather be anyone else but you, to have someone kiss you, love you, and make you feel like the luckiest person in the world is the most amazing feeling. I can’t even put it into words.

I don’t know how he does it, but he always makes me feel better. He might not make all my pain go away (though he has several times), but he makes me laugh and helps distract me from my brain trying to focus on the pain and all the things I can’t do. He also is my biggest supporter and my biggest help.

He makes me gluten free food, and tries to not eat too much gluten full foods around me. He loves doing this for me, because he enjoys making me happy by making things like hamburger buns so I can finally eat a real burger again.

He’s going to school right now, along with working a full-time job, so that he can make a ton of money when he’s done. He wishes I didn’t have to work so much, and he wants to do what he can to take care of me. He wants this – educating people about the pain I go through, which I love doing – to be my job.

I don’t know anyone in the entire world as amazing and as wonderful as that man. And he’s so humble about it, too: “You’re a people. You’re supposed to do nice things for people.”

Too awesome, right? But he’s like legit. His momma raised him right.

Some days, I worry I’m going to wake up to find the last four and a half years has been some crazy pipe dream.

I’m glad I haven’t woken up yet.

I asked some of my friends if they had any questions as I was putting together this post. A few of them did, and I incorporated most of them into the post but I’d like to share this one here.

Q: How does one make love when everything hurts and all the wrong things are stiff?

A: It does seem like a horrible idea to think about, right? But it doesn’t necessarily have to mean the normal crazy physical sex that you might think of at first. To be perfectly honest, I love things that switch up angles, but some of the positions are really hard for me to get into sometimes, especially with my knees being my worst joints. We have come up with some different positions that work angles the same way for the both of us, but allow me to lay down instead. A lot of the sexual activity I’m involved in has me on my back. Sometimes, I feel as though I don’t participate enough. But I also enjoy just being able to share that time with my boyfriend, and so does he. I would love to do more, and hopefully soon I will be able to.

Sometimes it does take a bit of foreplay before my body feels up to moving in certain ways. Essentially, I need to release enough endorphins to counteract the pain I’m already in so that I can enjoy my time with the boyfriend.

That just kind of pisses me off more than the rest of it, but c’est la vie I guess.

Don’t let your chronic condition take away your lust for life, for your happiness, or for your partner!

Further research:

Sex and Arthritis, The American College of Rheumatology

Go Ask Alice

Dr Doc Online

Sex With Arthritis, Everyday Health

Intimacy, Sex, and Secrets of Lovemaking, WebMD

Arthritis and Sex, The Dinah Project

Arthritis and Sex Positions, Coastal Health Info Service

Sex Positions Guide, Sex Info 101
This website is helpful because it categorizes sex positions, but also includes a 3D model of what the actual movement during sex would be like. It can be a super useful tool to seeing if you think a certain position will make your hip feel worse, aggravate an injury, etc. But it also has tips on massage, masturbation, and sexual health. Just try to stay away from the weird comments, eh?

The Medieval Pain Scales

Posted on by Grayson

The art of medicine has evolved immensely in the past few decades in general. We have new treatments that give people with a number of diseases, like cancer and HIV/AIDS a chance at a life longer than a few months.

And yet, there is so much still to be redone and changed for the better… like the pain scale. Or, more specifically, the pain scale for chronic pain patients.

You may be wondering to yourself why this even matters.

Because my pain doesn’t always fall into this damn scale. My ‘little bit’ is considerably different than that of a ‘normal’ person. And my no hurt has visited me a total of maybe 5 times in my life when not getting jiggy with it (yep, too much information, but I don’t care!).

Do you really know even know what the scale above means? I sure as hell don’t.

Do doctors really even pay attention to this scale? And to our answers to it? What if I’m perpetually at a 3-4?

In doing some research, I found that those of us talking about pain scales right now are not alone in wanting this to be revamped. Back in 2002, a guy named Jack Harich with the International Pudendal Neuropathy Association developed his own pain chart. And I kind of like it. It seems to be more in tune with how I see my pain than any other I’ve found so far.

First, you try to determine if your pain is mild, moderate, or ‘holy shit I am going to die’/severe. Thankfully, Jack included descriptions so you don’t have to guess! I don’t know that I exactly agree with all the descriptions. I think you can be ‘disabled’ at any range,  and I think you can live independently while being disabled. I’ve seen it in my family, and in my arthritis family.

He included descriptions of each pain level, which I agree with for the most part. I don’t know about the dental descriptions on some. But that’s because I had horrible wisdom teeth coming in and going back up for years.

I generally sit at a 5-7, jumping up to 8-9 probably a few times a week. Fun tidbit: today, I actually left work early because I was at an 8. I was 7-8 pretty much all day yesterday and ended up staying in bed most of the day.

To be honest, I don’t know that I’ve ever been at a 10. Maybe once or twice, but not that I can clearly remember.

Is this type of pain scale going to make it more difficult for patients to describe their pain with a number?

I don’t think so. I think that, along with the paperwork you’re sent for a first visit, you should be sent a copy of this pain chart. You should be keeping a general record of your pain for a month or longer before your appointment, according to the chart. Then, when you are asked what you current pain level is, you should be keeping this chart in mind.

Can you imagine how much easier it would be with a chart that is actually explained and uniform? And without those damn faces mocking your pain?

Even without this scale being implemented and explained to others, I’m going to use it to refer to in my own personal health. I may even print it out and bring it to my rheumatologist in order to better explain how I’m feeling. Because otherwise, you and I both know, those numbers don’t really mean a damn thing.

Wait, what?

Posted on by Grayson

I’m having odd muscle issues. It’s happened a few times before, but always in my sleep so I didn’t really think anything more of it than an odd muscle cramp or migrating charlie horse. But apparently, when I actually got to look at it, I realized how fucking creepy it was.

Sorry, there’s not another way to put it.

So Christmas, right? I worked a lot. I woke up and my right leg was super tense. My right heel hurt like a bitch – it hurt to walk, hurt to put pressure on, but I fought through it.

Later in the evening, the leg muscle tension has moved into my right foot. We are watching X-Files and waiting on nummy pizza when all of the sudden, the three middle toes on my right foot froze. Maybe even my pink too but it’s so small I wasn’t really paying attention to it.

They didn’t just freeze like in place either. They fucking curled down towards my foot. It was like all the muscles in my whole leg down into my toes froze up. It was like that for, oh, a minute at the absolute most but probably 30-45 seconds realistically.

It was the scariest fucking thing I’ve seen in a while.

The muscles are tense today, but not as bad. I don’t know how or why this happened. I googled it, obviously, to find that it could be lack of potassium, magnesium, from my RA, or from Parkinson’s or MS.

My great grandma essentially died from complications caused by her MS. I watched her, as a very tiny girl, lose her mobility. I have very few memories of her before her Amigo go-cart. Things just got worse and worse for her. She eventually had a stroke, and ended up in a nursing home with a broken voice box because of the dip shit doctors.

And I have always been afraid that is going to happen to me too.

Yay for borrowing trouble and googling stupid shit my body does.

PS if you’ve had this, want to share what’s up? Please?

I think I’m in love…

Posted on by Grayson

With my new rheumy. And her nurses. And the whole office.

I got to the office, and they had like 80 handicapped parking spots near the entrance. Awesome. But I found a “normal” spot. They have a self-check-in kiosk – score. I avoided the long line. Not that it super mattered because I got in about half an hour early.

The waiting area was nice. It was large, and there were a ton of chairs. Rheumatology shares its waiting area with vascular surgery and cardiology. An interesting mix, but there was a good separation in waiting areas.

The nurse that took me back was very nice. He was a veteran, probably mid-30s, with an awesome sense of humor. I found out he’s a float nurse from GP hanging out in rheumatology sometimes, but I love him. We talked about Arabic, knee problems (he SO wins that one, even before his three deployments), and he really made me feel comfortable. He also super liked joking around with me. It was awesome, almost like having my uncle there.

My doctor herself was so nice. She asked me why I was switching, and I told her that my former doctor’s attitude just wasn’t working for me, that I wanted to be more involved with my heath and walked through these things – not just for me but for the health blogging community.

She talked to me – really talked to me. She got to know me, and listened to me gripe about my health and my life in general. She did a full examination, listening to me about the joints that are sore. We came up with an action plan together, and that’s exactly what I wanted.

So, I’m going back on MTX – but the injectable. She also gave me a stronger NSAID, but one that is known for not being harsh on the stomach. I have a referral to PT, a GP, and an ophthalmologist. The ophthalmologist part was interesting, just because she asked about my history with uveitis. As I told her, she looked at my eyes and began writing down info on a great doctor. She could see that my eyes were not symmetrical and that they were a little red.

Finally.

I am so excited.

Her nurses came in again and gave me a flu shot – while being hilarious. I spent like 15 minutes talking with one of the nurses, just hanging out. I almost didn’t want to leave.

I feel like I’m in charge of my health, and that’s exactly what I needed.

I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful doctor, and I can’t wait to see any of them in the office again.

Christmas comes early

Posted on by Grayson

Or, at least, I hope it does.

The last week has been amazing. I’ve watched everyone stress out about finals and studying, and not had to deal with it for once. It really was that sinking in moment since making my decision to stop school. My body feels a lot better than I know it would if I were doing all this school stuff.

Still, it’s in rough shape.

A couple of days ago, my left hip hurt so much. It almost felt like it was swollen so much it wasn’t in its socket. Way to be, hip. Then, of course, my knee started hurting. And then, because I was favoring my right side, that started hurting.

Seriously.

Now, tomorrow is something I’ve been holding out for for a couple of months – a new rheumatologist. I’m nervous, because I always am. I know I’ll have to tell my whole story (for the 10 millionth time), get blood taken (blech), and who knows what else. I’m hoping to walk away with the beginnings of trust in my new doc, supposedly one of the best rheumatologists in Madison.

I’m also hoping to walk away with a few different medications, and a dosage change for my Humira.

Humira helped so much at the beginning. As it got colder, and my body got used to the medication, it stopped helping as much. I went from being able to hike miles this summer to being super out of shape and sweating and getting out of breath during a mile and a half walk with my boyfriend. I couldn’t even do easy yoga poses last night that I can usually do easily. So lame.

Here are my main goals for my appointment:

  • See if she actually believes me about my pain
  • Get her to correct dumbo doctor’s mistakes in my medical records
  • Check for fibro, depression ( 🙁 ), and uveitis
  • PAIN MEDICATION THAT’S NOT IBUPROFEN GODDAMNIT
  • Dosage changes for current meds
  • Ideas for a good GP
  • Dietary/exercise suggestions
  • And maybe a fibro medication that helps with the sads too
I really really hope that things go well, because I really really need them to this time around.

The Biggest Decision I’ve Ever Made

Posted on by Grayson

This semester has been pretty difficult on me. I’m not ill with other things, like pneumonia or other respiratory illnesses like when I was on MTX. Unlike last semester, I don’t feel 100% dead. But I am struggling. In thinking about things the other day, I came to the conclusion that school is no longer a real option for me. And, whereas last semester that would’ve freaked me right out, I’m okay with the decision now.

At this point, Arabic specifically is being offered earlier and earlier. It continues to force me to get up earlier and earlier. Unfortunately, it makes it very difficult for me to handle my disease. My Humira I think isn’t helping as well as I thought it would. Hopefully it’s just a matter of adjusting dosages. I’m also in so much pain lately. And it’s not just an arm or a shoulder – it’s my knees, my ankles, my hips – all those things you need to move around and do things. Even though my job is a lot easier, I’m still finding myself having to make the decision between whether or not I can go to school or to work – and I have to be able to support myself financially.

Sadly, I don’t think that other people understand what I’m going through. And I don’t expect them to. If someone sees me at work and knows I wasn’t in class because of my disease, but I seem to look fine, it’s hard to understand I know. And I am thankful that so many people won’t know what I’m going through.

It’s just about reevaluating my life. My plan was to work with the UN – in order to do that, you get stuck in the worst health countries first so you can work your way up. I can’t do that. Then I thought I should be a professor – but if I can’t even make it to classes to teach, what is the point? Why should I continue to accumulate loans when I can’t possibly do what I want to with my education. I have learned Arabic, which is something I always wanted to do. And I will always study that part of the world, because it’s fascinating.

But more fascinating to me is my own body and the struggles it goes through. I value more the comments I get and friends I have made because of blogging about my experiences. I have helped people just by being me, and that’s amazing. After reading books and talking to their authors, like Christine Schwab, I know now what I want to do. I’ve been working over the past few days on a book about my experiences with my disease. I hope that it will help others, and I know that it is already helping me.

Now I just face the tough decision if I should really finish my classes this semester. It’s not a good thing to receive bad grades, for sure, especially not for a former overachiever like myself. But at the same time, I don’t think it’s worth the stress to worry about my grades at this point. And again, I’m somehow okay with all of this. I don’t even know how.

What is it like to be stuck at home?

Posted on by Grayson

On any given day, everyone wants to stay home. It would be nice to stay at home, lying around all day and watching TV.

But what if that was all you could do?

Not so fun huh?

Today is the first day out of the last few that I have felt well enough to do really anything. I did go to work the last two days, because I have to being in training still, or I’d lose my job. Not an option. It is hard to explain to my friends what exactly it feels like. But it’s like being trapped in your own body and there’s nothing you can do about it.

On waking up Monday, I could barely move. It got worse before it got better, and Monday night I was limping pretty good at work… which is okay, since I get to sit mostly. Tuesday was a little better, but still I was too swollen and in pain to do anything until like 2pm – and then the big thing I did was shower, something I physically couldn’t do Monday. Yay.

When showering is your big accomplishment, it’s a sad day.

All of this because I tried to taper my steroids down one milligram. It makes me mad that I am so dependent on them, but at the same time I am thankful I am not more dependent on them like many others I know. 5mg a day is much better than 50 or more. But I know one thing – I’m not going to make that mistake again.

PFAM: World Arthritis Day Edition

Posted on by Grayson

Happy World Arthritis Day (if that can be a happy thing)

Sadly, just like the last time I hosted PFAM, I barely got any entries. I am not quite sure why, but oh well I guess. It seems like a lot of people who used to participate in PFAM don’t anymore unless the topic REALLY moves them.

The sole post that I have to share today is from Kathy over at FibroDAZE. She has gone through many changes in the last few months, and as such feel like she is living in her very own soap opera. When new medical issues pop up, life can definitely feel that way. Thanks Kathy for being wonderful and participating in this edition of the PFAM!

Late last month, I posted about my own personal dietary changes and how I thought they were helping. My suspicions are all but confirmed. It is very difficult to cut out staples in diet, like dairy products and gluten-full breads and such, especially for me. My father’s side of my family is Italian and, while I did not know him growing up, my mom always encouraged me to embrace my Italian heritage. It is driving me crazy, not eating tons of breadsticks soaked in garlic butter and parm cheese… Or, likewise, one of my favorite things about Wisconsin is frozen custard. We didn’t have this on the west coast/northwest, and I fell in love.

At least the best part about it is that I don’t really crave those things that often anymore. One of the wonderful people who really encouraged me to look at alternate grains is a man I have barely interacted with, but who has shown me a lot about nutrition – Chef Brad. My boyfriend and I just think he is wonderful and he has helped the both of us handle trying to eat healthier.

When I have added in dairy or gluten, I can tell how horrible my body feels. After eating some gluten the other night, I felt as though I had a body hangover the next day. My finger joints were swollen, and my knees were horrible. I could not go to classes and I was lucky that I was able to go to training at my new job in the late afternoon/evening. Likewise, adding dairy to my diet just creates tummy troubles – the gurgles, the heartburn, upsetness, and even more fun.

While it will be hard to stick to, I know that this change is right for me. I have felt so much better between that and starting my new job. The three minutes of delicious breadstick eating is not worth the joint pain and stomach issues.

I’m just glad I can still eat potatoes 🙂

Am I Gluten and Dairy Intolerant?

Posted on by Grayson

I think so.

Since my wisdom tooth surgery, I have been being nicer to my body and getting more protein. Part of that involved paying more attention to my metabolism – which right now is kind of crazy slow. Lame. But I digress. In paying more attention to that, I noticed that certain things make me feel horrible – not just sick to my stomach horrible, but I noticed that my RA starts to flare up more after certain foods. I thought maybe it was junk food. So then I cut back on that again and felt a little better. But the healthier I eat, the more I notice other issues.

When I eat things with a lot of wheat, or really any bread, my asthma picks up. And then about 20-45 minutes later, I feel crazy sick to my stomach. So I stopped eating bread. And then I noticed eating cereal did the same thing. I love cheese, and noticed the same thing while eating some.

And it occurred to me that what I’ve heard from people for years about dairy and wheat agitating RA could be right. So I stopped eating those things as much and have noticed that my arthritis is calming down.

Gluten intolerance symptoms are here. I’m amazed at how many I experience, and even more amazed that listed on there is juvenile idiopathic arthritis. It’s just crazy. Lactose intolerance symptoms are here. I’ve always had rumbly tummy noises (to quote Pooh Bear), but never really knew why. Now it makes sense.

Supposedly, along with gluten intolerance comes an intolerance to fructose and sorbitol. Sorbitol I don’t really encounter, because it is mostly in gums and diet foods and such that I can’t have because of my allergy to phenylalanine. But frutctose I encounter a lot… because my worst vice is soda. I’ve always used caffeine to help control my pain, and I know that I shouldn’t for many reasons, but I do. Oops. I also noticed recently that soda tends to increase the pain that I feel in my hands. So that’s fun. I’m down to one soda a day (mostly) but have also noticed that I’m drinking alcohol more… which supposedly also helps RA be less intense. And I’m not an alcoholic looking for an excuse – there are studies! I promise!

So in the past few weeks, the boyfriend and I have begun eating at home more, incorporating more healthy grains and vegetables into our diet. We still eat out one or two days a week, but we save it for the weekends (or special occasions) and it’s only one meal a day. We are spending more money at the grocery store, but less money elsewhere, and that is also helpful. It’s not always easy to find foods without dairy or gluten, but I’m finding out the best places to look, and that’s a start. Whole Foods has a lot, but so does Woodmans, a local grocery store.

It’s fun to eat healthier, and I feel so much better lately. The only thing that will make it better is my upcoming job change. Standing on my feet for 8+ hours, the stress, and all the things I end up doing extra are not worth the pain that I then experience… especially since it seems as though my current employers could really care less about the accommodations that I need… which is really sad, but oh well I guess. I could be mean, and take it further, but since I’m leaving I won’t. I’ll just get excited about this being my last real week, save two more shifts the weekend after next.